Outercourse: An Alternative to Sex?

We’ve all heard the term intercourse, but there’s also something called outercourse. It is a type of sexual activity that many engage in to avoid unwanted pregnancies, lower the risk of STIs, or simply to try something different. Flure explains all you need to know about an outercourse so you feel confident if it comes to it!

What is outercourse?

The meaning of outercourse is simply any form of non-penetrative sexual activity. This can be anything from touching and stimulating each other in erogenous zones, doing handjobs or blowjobs, cunnilingus, sexy massages, and things of that sort. As long as there’s no penis-inside-vagina-or-anus situation – it’s outercourse.
Note: Some people would argue that cunnilingus or a blowjob can’t be counted as outercourse because, well, there is some form of penetration, even if it’s not done by a penis. Frankly, there’s no 100% scientific definition to outercourse, and the Flure team is undecided on the topic too, so we’ll leave it to our readers to decide for themselves.

What is considered outercourse: examples

We’ve already briefly touched on what’s counted as outercourse, but let’s go through the full list:
  • Kissing, and not just the mouth, but all over your body
  • Masturbating each other
  • Dry-humping, a.k.a. rubbing your fully clothed bodies against one another
  • Scissoring, or more elegantly put, tribadism
  • Using external vibrators applied to the penis, clit, nipples, and other erogenous zones
  • Fingering of the anus or vagina but without penetrating them, just playing around
  • Handjobs and blowjobs, while a blowjob would be excluded from outercourse by some
  • Cunnilingus if it’s not penetrative, but you’re just using your mouth to touch the surface
  • Thrusting penis between breasts, butt cheeks, or thighs
  • Massage that is sensual and turns you on

Outercourse vs abstinence

Is outercourse the same as abstinence? Can people engage in outercourse without breaking their abstinence? What is the difference between abstinence and outercourse? Those are very interesting questions.
Sex comes in so many shapes and forms, that it would be logical to just call outercourse a type of sex. Because not all sex includes penetration by penis or fingering. Or at least it would be fair to say that outercourse is foreplay.
For many though, abstinence is a religious matter, and they would construe sex as an only penetrative activity between two (often heterosexual) people. In that case, anything that falls outside of the said sex definition doesn’t count and can be practiced without breaking the promise to God, parents, or themselves.
And hey, who are we to judge? If it makes you feel better and helps you get through the days, then let the outercourse be completely in line with abstinence, and not think any more of it.
Pro tip: If you’re practicing abstinence and have a romantic partner or go on dates, it would be best to discuss your abstinence boundaries with them upfront. Because as we know – people can use different meanings for all these terms, so it’s helpful to set the record straight and avoid disappointment down the line.

Advantages of outercourse

Outercourse is fun! Let’s look at the main advantages it offers to you.

Lower risk of catching STIs

You won’t be able to say “Bye forever” to all STIs, because they can still be transmitted if you’re kissing, rubbing genitals against one another, or performing oral sex. However, a lot of harmful bacteria and viruses won’t be able to reach you if you’re not doing penis penetration. Yay!

No unwanted pregnancies

Pregnancies can be beautiful and bring so much joy to future parents. But that’s only if the kid is wanted and wished for. If you’re capable of getting pregnant or have a partner who’s able to do that with their body, outercourse can be a lifesaver if you’re not into having kids just yet but are super horny for one another.

New ways to reach orgasm

Outercourse is super cool because it gives you a chance to explore your body and find new ways to have pleasure. Orgasms from unexpected erotic activities or positions are the best! It can also be good for the couple to switch things up in the bedroom every once in a while and move away from the good-old penetration sex. Getting naked and exploring each other together brings you closer and helps build a real connection, plus it’s erotic as hell.

Disadvantages of outercourse

Just like anything in life, outercourse has both pros and cons. Here are some of the downsides of outercourse.

It can lead to intercourse

Now, hear us out! Obviously, if you’re in a relationship, and outercourse is just something you’re trying to funzies, then it’s no issue if you end up having penetrative sex. However, if you’re engaging in outercourse because of abstinence, for health reasons, or simply because you’re not ready for more traditional sex, then blurring the line can be risky, especially if you’ve not established your boundaries or if your partner is not good at respecting them.

You assume it’s more safe than it is

Outercourse comes in many types, shapes, and forms, and some of them are more safe than others. For example, scissoring or oral sex can result in some form of STIs, but you’d think it’s not possible and not take precautions. Viruses and bacteria can reach our bodies in very surprising ways, so it’s best to consult with your doctor to learn the full spectrum of possible diseases and always use contraception, such as condoms or dental dams.

Intercourse vs outercourse

What should you choose, and what is better – intercourse or outercourse?
Both are great, and both are hot. You can mix and match between the two depending on your current desires or the partners you’re with. Intercourse implies penetration with a penis or an internal sex toy, whether it’s vaginal or anal. If that’s something you’re willing to do – great, go for it. However, if you’d rather avoid penetration for any reason – then outercourse is the best option for you.
With intercourse, there is an infinitely higher risk of catching a disease or getting pregnant. Those risks are much lower with outercourse, but they’re never zero. Semen and vaginal and other bodily liquids can travel around your body during outercourse and reach unfortunate destinations, where they can lead to STIs or pregnancies.
Both sexual activities require you to be prepared and use protection. Both are very enjoyable and erotic. So whatever you decide to proceed with, remember to stay safe, communicate your boundaries, and have fun!

Why would you choose outercourse over intercourse?

Before we sign off, let’s list all the main reasons why someone would actually choose outercourse over the seemingly more fun intercourse:
  1. You’re horny but forgot protection
  2. You don’t want to get pregnant
  3. There’s a health condition that prevents you from having intercourse
  4. One of you doesn’t like or want penetration
  5. One of you (or both) is on your period
  6. You’re feeling curious and want to experiment with your bodies
  7. You want to heat things up between you two by prolonging the wait for intercourse
There are so many reasons why someone would want to go with outercourse. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it, so don’t be shy and open up to your partner if that’s what you want to try. And if someone is asking you for an outercourse rather than intercourse, don’t feel bad or get offended. It’s actually a lot of fun, and you’ll be able to learn a lot about yourself through the exploration of your body.