Foreplay, the well-known term for sexual activity before intercourse, is still surrounded by a plethora of misconceptions. In fact, foreplay can be a sufficient act itself, but only if you do it right. In this article, we explain what foreplay is and why it is an integral part of enjoyable sex, bust myths around it, and give you some good foreplay tips you sure will enjoy.
What is Foreplay
Sexually speaking, foreplay is a stimulation or any activity that precedes intercourse. But it's far from being a quick, optional act. And if you want to have multiple orgasms, foreplay is the key to your happiness and satisfaction. As a matter of fact, you can achieve maximum pleasure with foreplay alone, without penetrative sex. So, let's dive into the topic and explore the meaning of foreplay, why it is so important, how long it should last, and how to master it.
Benefits of Foreplay
Foreplay enhances pleasure, emotional intimacy, and overall sexual satisfaction. It can enrich your connection in and out of the bedroom and spice up your sex life in many new and creative ways. For you and your partners alike, knowing how to do foreplay right can lead to much more fulfilling and enjoyable sex. Here are some key benefits of foreplay:
- It gets your body ready. Foreplay can help you get in the mood, especially when you are tired or stressed. It releases endorphins and other feel-good hormones that can reduce stress and anxiety and help you relax and enjoy. Also, it increases your body awareness and makes you wetter or harder for sex.
- It enhances pleasure. Engaging in foreplay stimulates the body's natural responses, making the sexual experience more pleasurable. It helps in building up tension and anticipation, which can lead to more intense orgasms.
- It helps you last longer. If a 10-minute intercourse is not for you, good foreplay is a must-have on your sex menu. A wide range of ways and activities can significantly extend your experience.
- It makes your connection deeper. Good foreplay goes beyond physical stimulation alone. Engaging in one means exploring each others' bodies, communicating your desires, and ultimately getting more intimate in bed.
- It increases orgasms. You are more likely to have a stronger orgasm or several orgasms if you engage in foreplay. For some women or people with a vagina, foreplay is necessary to orgasm because they can't peak with intercourse alone.
Types of Foreplay
Foreplay can start far before you are in the bedroom. It includes a wide range of activities that will ultimately lead to more fun in bed. So, expanding our knowledge about what foreplay is and its types is the first step on the way to a better, more enjoyable sex life.
- Physical stimulation. The most recognized form of foreplay involves kissing, touching, caressing, and oral stimulation. It relaxes your body, helps get it ready for sex, and brings you closer emotionally.
- Sensual activities. It's about awakening the senses to enhance the sexual experience. Sensual foreplay can include, for example, a sensual massage or creating a romantic ambiance with candles and music.
- Emotional connection. Often overlooked, the emotional aspect of foreplay is needed for building intimacy. Before you get physical, get closer through conversations, sharing fantasies, and expressing desires. Passionate foreplay creates a trusting environment where both partners feel understood.
How to Foreplay
People enjoy different things in bed, and foreplay is something very intimate and individual. It starts long before you get undressed in the bedroom and is equally meaningful for couples in a relationship, strangers who meet online, and those who follow the more the merrier principle. Here, communication is the key to everyone's satisfaction: if you think of foreplay as a boring necessity to arouse her, your sex life is not going anywhere. On the other hand, if you communicate your desires, ask each other questions, and pay attention to your partner, you will have that emotional and physical connection needed for fantastic sex.
- If you just met online, don't be shy about explaining your turn-ons and turn-offs right away. Everyone can be themselves on Flure, and if you switch off the safe mode, feel free to open up and begin your foreplay with a spicy chat. Read our guide on how to do it best. Remember, open communication about your desires is the key to a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship.
- Sexting is not the only way to begin your foreplay by just communicating. You can call, video call, send each other nudes, or even write notes to heat things up.
Once you are together in the room, there are plenty of ways to foreplay before you get physical. Here are some foreplay ideas:
- Light candles. The soft, warm candlelight and scent will help you relax, forget about everyday worries, and add an element of romance before you get physical. Don’t be lazy to try it: it is very erotic!
- Put some music on. Their favorite tune in the background is the best way to fill the silence and get closer.
- Dance. Feel each others' bodies and express your feelings in slow movements in the rhythm of a sexy melody.
- Striptease. Men and women alike get turned on by it! You don't have to be a pro and do tricks on a pole; show your confidence and lose your clothes slowly to show them how much you desire their touch.
- Talk. That's right, talking dirty, explaining your desires and kinks, as much as giving them compliments, will arouse their brain, make their hearts shiver, and make them wet/hard just for you.
Now, when you are in the moment, it's time to move to the next stage - yes! - the physical stimulation. Here are some excellent physical foreplay techniques to try:
- Make out. Kiss deeply and passionately, and let the desire take over! Do it wherever you want: in the car, on the couch, or - yes, it's allowed! - even in a public place, like a park, if you can't hide your feelings and desires. Here are our tips to help you get playful in public safely.
- Sensual massage. It is a perfect way to relax, get close, and explore each other's bodies. Use some oil and feel free to start with their feet, slowly going up and seeing how every inch of their body reacts.
- Erogenous zones. It doesn't matter if you are in a long-term monogamous relationship or if you just met: stimulating your partners' erogenous zones is the best way to arouse them and help them reach more intense orgasms! Here are some essential tips from Flure about exploring your unexpected hot spots.
- Try all the sex toys. Sex toys are perfect for foreplay. Try them for teasing, vaginal or anal penetration. Use dildos, vibrators, anal beads and plugs, nipple stimulators, and any other toys you feel like trying for new sensations.
- Sensory play. Kissing and touching aren't the only things to do when it comes to enhancing your senses in sex. Try playing with different textures, use blindfolds, ice cubes, or things like feathers for new sensations.
- Shower together. Or take a bath to enjoy some dreamy experience with warm, soapy water to feel each others' wet skin. Oh, this is a pleasure nobody can resist!
- Mutual masturbation. Watch each other do it or use your hands and fingers to please each other before the intercourse. Learn about your partner's preferences and enjoy this deeply arousing experience.
- Role play. Inject some playfulness into your relationship with role-playing. It can be a fun way to explore different fantasies and break away from routine. Be bold, and don't be afraid to try new outfits and lingerie. As long as you (both) want it, there are no limits!
Misconceptions about Foreplay
Myths and misconceptions about foreplay are one of the reasons why some people don't seem to understand their bodies or the importance of intimacy. Allow us to bust the most common myths to feel more free and kinky with your partner!
#1 If you don't do it, you are lazy and selfish
Wrong! Some people can be shy or don't know how to start. If you feel more confident, take the lead and guide your partner with movements and words.
#2 Foreplay is only for LGBTQIA+
For transgender and gay people, foreplay can be more important than the intercourse itself, but it doesn't mean that cisgender people don't need it in their sex lives.
#3 Foreplay is only for cisgender people
Heterosexual couples surely enjoy it and need foreplay to spice up their sexual relations, but they aren't the only ones who practice it regularly.
#4 Only women enjoy foreplay
This is very misleading. Women are indeed more likely to reach an orgasm when there is foreplay than with simple and short intercourse, but people of all genders enjoy good foreplay. After all, it's about having a good time with your partner.
#5 Foreplay is only physical
As we wrote above, there are different types of foreplay, and each of them can be highly beneficial for the quality of your sexual relationship. The emotional and psychological experiences we get from communication are a part of foreplay you shouldn't forget about.
#6 Foreplay only happens in the bedroom
Ignite your passion with conversations, movements, dances, and eye contact while on the way to a private location. And if you met online, try sexting or video calling as a part of foreplay: this way, you can do it even when there's a distance!
#7 Foreplay is time consuming
Only if you are in a hurry! Take as long as you need: there is no such thing as a universal duration of foreplay. Enjoy it as it goes, and don't look at the clock.
The Bottom Line
Our understanding and experience with foreplay can be strongly influenced by the media or the ambiguous widespread notions that are more myths-like rather than confirmed facts. You don't need to match anyone's expectations or behave and enjoy something that doesn't fit right for you. When you engage in foreplay with your partner, sexual compatibility and communication are key to your mutual pleasure and satisfaction. Experimenting with different types of foreplay and trying new ways to achieve maximum pleasure will deepen your relationship and enhance your sexual life, making it more fulfilling, engaging, and enjoyable.
