Sometimes a good one-night stand is all you need to regain your energy and confidence, have fun, and relax. But what if your partner in crime is too cute to let go of?
They say you should never sleep with someone on the first date, or else they won’t see you as girlfriend or boyfriend material. It’s true in some cases, but not always. If you really are falling for this person you’ve spent a hot night with, there is a possibility you will become a couple.
How to Turn a One-Night Stand into a Real Relationship?
If you are determined to turn things around and have your hot one-night stand turn into a hot love romance, here are a couple of tips.
- Don’t get your hopes up. Not to rain on your parade, but one-night stands are not a fast track to finding the love of your life. There is a very real chance that your crush will not be willing to entertain the idea of proper dating, and that’s okay. Shoot your shot, but be prepared for a No.
- Talk to them. Ask the person if they’re even on the market for a relationship. Tell them you had fun and would like to see if that can lead to something beautiful and more regular or serious. Be honest, and don’t beat around the bush too much. Go straight to the point.
- Keep things chill. Don’t scare the person with a committed monogamous relationship request. You don’t know them well enough still, and maybe you two can take things slow, and go on occasional dates for a while.
- Try to get to know them if they agree to try and date. Choose quality time together over quantity of hangouts, have meaningful conversations, and ask thoughtful questions. Don’t interrogate them, but make it a goal to see whether they’re actually a good fit and you align in values. Sometimes great sex is just that, but we like to believe that if we have good chemistry with someone in the bedroom, then they must be our soulmate. It’s not always the case though.
Do One-Night Stands Lead to Relationships?
Most one-night stands remain just that – casual sex that two or more adults have for a bit of fun. A smaller portion, however, can lead to a proper relationship.
With one-night stands, we choose people to engage in sex with differently than potential partners. You might not want to go out with and marry a walking red-flag guy but desire him sexually because he’s hot. You don’t care about compatibility and alignment in values with casual sex, that’s why there’s usually little middle ground for you to like each other and start dating.
Then we have the issue of expectations. When people have a one-night stand with someone, they want just that – one-time sex, nothing more. It’s like when you come to the shop to just get a pair of new socks and the shop assistant starts selling you dresses, shoes, hats, and whatnot. You didn’t ask for it, you’re confused, it’s an instant no.
Types of Casual Sex
One-night stands are one of the many forms of casual sex that exist out there.
With one-night stands, people have sex one time, and there is no further contact or expectations. For example, you pick a guy or a girl at the bar and bring them home to end the night on a high. In the morning light they leave, and it’s mutually understood that you’ll not be seeing each other again.
The other options are:
- FWB or friends-with-benefits arrangement where you’re having regular sex with one of your friends without the intention of becoming a proper couple.
- Hookups are very similar to one-night stands and some use those terms interchangeably. Hookup is a spontaneous sexual encounter that doesn’t imply continuous sexual or emotional relationships. Hookups, unlike one-night stands, don’t always involve penetrative sex. Sometimes people make out extensively or have oral sex and call it a hookup.
- NSA or no-strings-attached sex is also ideologically close to one-night stands but with NSA there is no emotional bond at all, it’s pure sex and lust.
- Vacation flings are a short-term sex-dventure where people meet while on vacation and help each other have a good time until they have to go back to their hometowns.
Either one of those casual sex formats is valid and good, but only if both parties know the rules and consent to them. Otherwise, someone usually gets hurt.
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