Ah, the topic of one night stands! Some swear by them as a fun and cheeky way to spend time and satisfy their sexual needs, others see them as the ultimate evil. At Flure, we encourage everyone to make their own decisions, experiment, and try things out.
If you’re not yet sure whether a one night stand is for you or not, then make sure to read this article. It will provide you insight into the topic, an overview of the good, the bad, and the ugly associated with it, as well as helpful tips to navigate one time stands like a pro.
What is a one night stand?
Before diving into the whys and the hows, let’s look at what is considered a one night stand.
One night stands are defined as single sexual encounters between two (or more) people. They can be prefaced by a date or simply a one-time booty call where you meet at someone’s place and get straight down to business. One night stands are casual and can be spontaneous, say, if you met at a bar and really liked each other. They’re not really supposed to grow into a steady sexual contact or a relationship.
In romantic comedies, however, people can fall in love and realize they belong to each other after a random hookup, but more often than not all parties aren’t interested in pursuing the acquaintance.
Why is it called a one night stands?
The modern understanding of the phrase “one night stand” originates from an English idiomatic expression, where a stand meant a single instance of something happening, and one night signified the length of the happening. With time, the phrase got a sexual connotation and is pretty much only associated with casual sex these days.
Dos and don'ts of one night stand
One-night stands can be fun, hot, awkward, weird, etc. There are no set-in-stone rules about them, but our short lists of dos and don’ts will guide you in the right direction to ensure you only have positive memories of the encounter.
The dos of one night stands
Let’s start with the dos of casual sex dates.
- Let someone know about your plans and location. Not to be negative, but if you’re meeting with a stranger for casual sex, there’s always a bit of a risk involved. No matter if you're a 6-foot tall guy or a petite person, spend one minute texting a friend or a cousin with the heads up. We know, we know, it’s kinda killing (no pun intended) the vibe, but better safe than sorry.
- Confirm your date is of legal age to be engaged in sexual intercourse. The last thing we need is to end up in bed with a child.
- Ask for consent, even if you feel like you guys are on the same page.
- Treat the person with dignity and respect. Yes, you’re meeting for casual sex, but that doesn’t mean you should be rude to them.
- Forget about societal norms and have fun! Don’t let the fear of judgment by someone ruin your night.
The don’ts or one night stands
Here are the things you should avoid when looking for some sexy fun.
- Don’t agree to unprotected sex. No matter what they tell you! STDs are no fun, and if you’re with a guy who says he can’t get it up without a condom – well, too bad, there’s nothing you can do for him! Your health and well-being are much more important than (probably mediocre) sex.
- Don’t agree to anything you’re not willing to do. No matter how much your date is willing to engage in anal sex or Shibari BDSM – you’re not up for it, stay your ground.
- Don’t do it if you’re emotionally unstable at the moment because of a recent breakup, general life stress, or something else. One night stands can be beautiful but they also have the potential to throw you off. Especially if you’re doing them for the wrong reasons, like to forget your ex or because you’re drunk and suddenly horny, even though the person didn’t attract you very much when you were sober.
- Don’t boast about your sexy date and go into details if that can embarrass the person you’ve hooked up with. Maintain discretion and keep their personal information to yourself.
How to deal with one night stands?
Well, there’s no clear guide or a rule book (except our dos and don’ts tips) to help you deal with one night stands. In general, engage in them if you’re up for it but don’t let anyone pressure you into having casual sex. Also, don’t listen to overly encouraging friends if that’s not your thing. Remember your safety and use these sexy opportunities to understand your body better, try new things, and have a good time with new people.
Are one night stands bad?
Absolutely not! There is this idea in our society that one night stands are those horrible wretched sins that are shameful and no decent person will engage in them. That’s obviously not true! Not only did the Flure team explore one night stands and get a lot of pleasure and hilarious stories out of it, but we are, in general, firm believers that one night stands can be good for you.
If you’re a mature adult who is not suffering from low self-esteem and doesn’t aggressively seek external validation, then there’s no reason why one night stands should be off-limits. After all, it’s your life and your body.
Slut-shaming associated with one night stands disproportionately affects women, but men and non-binary people are called out for their sexual behavior too. That’s simply not right, and we as a society still have a long way to go, despite the progress that’s already been made.
For those of us who have busy lives and are not ready for serious relationships right now, one night stands are empowering and immensely helpful in satisfying our sexual desires.
Having said all that, one night stands can be problematic as well. Not all of your casual sex will be great, and you risk being mistreated every time you deal with a complete stranger. That’s why we are such proponents of following basic safety rules but also listening to your gut. If something seems off, don’t be shy to stop and leave.
