In the context of consensual sex, dirty talk can change your experience and take you and your partner to the next level of intimacy. And you don’t need to be a pro in talking dirty to do it right and turn your partner on so much they will beg for more. Open the door to a bolder conversation about your desires with Flure’s magical guide about the right sounds and words to say in bed.
What is dirty talk?
"Dirty talk" is a playful and seductive way of using words to spice up intimate moments. It's about sharing your desires, fantasies, or compliments in a flirty, sometimes explicit, way to create excitement and build a deeper connection. Think of it as using your words to tease, tempt, and turn up the heat in a fun, consensual way that both partners enjoy. The key is making sure both people are comfortable, so it feels natural and exciting for everyone involved—like a verbal dance that adds extra passion to the moment!
How to start talking dirty
Starting dirty talk can be a fun and exciting way to deepen intimacy, especially if both you and your partner are into it. The trick is to ease into it naturally, like sprinkling in flirty little sparks that build up the heat. Begin by setting the mood with soft, seductive compliments. You don’t have to jump straight into anything explicit—start with something playful, like telling them how much they turn you on or how amazing they look in that moment. Use a low, teasing tone and describe how they’re making you feel, creating a connection that’s as much about the energy as it is the words. Dirty talk is more like a slow burn than a sudden firework show, so let it simmer as you both get comfortable.
As the intensity rises, you can push the envelope a bit more, describing in vivid detail what you’re enjoying or what you want next. Pay close attention to how your partner responds—if they lean into it, you know you’re on the right track, and you can get a little more daring. Keep the exchange playful and sensual, like a game of verbal seduction where you’re both fully engaged. It’s all about mutual enjoyment, so if they’re loving it, feel free to get creative! But always check in, even through subtle cues, to make sure you’re both in sync. The beauty of dirty talk is that there’s no script—it’s about finding what makes you both tick, experimenting with the language of desire, and creating a shared, steamy experience that feels unique to the two of you.
As the intensity rises, you can push the envelope a bit more, describing in vivid detail what you’re enjoying or what you want next. Pay close attention to how your partner responds—if they lean into it, you know you’re on the right track, and you can get a little more daring. Keep the exchange playful and sensual, like a game of verbal seduction where you’re both fully engaged. It’s all about mutual enjoyment, so if they’re loving it, feel free to get creative! But always check in, even through subtle cues, to make sure you’re both in sync. The beauty of dirty talk is that there’s no script—it’s about finding what makes you both tick, experimenting with the language of desire, and creating a shared, steamy experience that feels unique to the two of you.
Tip: Paint a picture. Describe in vivid, yet sensual, detail what you want to do or how your partner makes you feel. For example, “I can’t wait to feel your hands on me,” or “You make me want to lose control.” This adds anticipation and excitement without jumping straight into explicit language.
If you have never tried saying naughty things to your partner when you are alone in the bedroom, you may want to begin. Here, consent is the key: what is a playful verbalization of one’s desires for some can be inappropriate for others, at least when you are still getting to know each other’s kinks. So grab these tips for beginners and slowly introduce your partner to a bold and sex dialogue in bed.
One of the goals of dirty talk is to express your desires and preferences. While for some people, it is a natural part of sex life, others don’t feel so confident. If you think your partner feels constrained, take the lead and make sure they are comfortable.
#1 Ask questions
Make sure you are on the same page. To ensure your partner’s comfort, ask questions about what they like or how they feel. This will help start your dialogue in bed and make you feel more connected.
Examples:
"Is this okay?"
"Do you want to keep going?"
"Would you like to try something else?"
#2 Express your desires
Tell your partner what you enjoy or what you would like them to do. We are not mindreaders yet, and guiding each other with words is the best way to understand each other in bed.
Examples:
"I love it when you touch me there."
"Could you go a bit slower/faster?"
#3 Guide them
For example, let them know if you want to switch positions or a tempo! Sometimes, it can greatly enhance your experience and will make you feel more open in bed.
Examples
"Can we try switching positions?"
"Grab my ass."
"Can you adjust the angle a little?"
#4 Provide feedback
Let them know if something feels particularly good. It boosts confidence and is likely to make your sex even better. On the other hand, if something doesn’t feel quite right, don’t be shy about letting them know about it. Remember, the most important thing about dirty talk is to make the experience unforgettable for everyone.
Examples:
"That feels so good."
"Keep doing that, I love it."
"I prefer it when you are gentler/more assertive."
#5 Make connection
Your experience will be more intimate and fulfilling if you express affection, love, and emotional closeness.
Examples:
"I feel so close to you right now."
"You make me feel incredible."
"I love being with you like this."
Dirty talk examples
Everyone has their own unique rhythm. There's no script—just the thrill of discovering what words spark excitement and deepen your connection. It’s all about exploring that flirty, teasing energy together, making every moment uniquely yours.
Before sex
Confidence is important. Encourage your partner and let them know they are desired:
- "I'm so horny. I've been thinking about what I want to do to you all day."
- "What do you want me to do to you tonight?"
- "I'm touching myself thinking about you because I can't wait."
During sex
- "You feel so amazing inside me."
- "I love it when you touch me like that."
- “I love hearing you moan. Go ahead and get louder.”
After sex
- "That was an incredible orgasm."
- "That was mind-blowing. What was your favorite part?"
- "I can't wait to have you inside me again."
How to talk dirty with confiednce
It's all about having fun, staying present, and feeling empowered in the moment. Here are some friendly tips to help you get there:
- Give yourself permission to take things at your own pace—there’s no rush!
- Focus on what genuinely turns you on, and let your words come from that excitement.
- Keep it natural—dirty talk should feel like an extension of the moment, not something forced.
- Don’t stress about being super specific; just let the conversation flow.
- Get cozy with your partner—trust and comfort make everything easier.
- Be kind to yourself and your partner—there’s no room for judgment, only fun!
How to talk dirty over text
Online erotic communication is another form of sexual self-expression, and it can be quite as meaningful for your sex! It can range from suggestive words to explicit descriptions and spicy pics and nudes. In many ways, sexting reflects the usual verbal sexual communication but within a digital context. Like with everything else, consent is crucial in sexting. If you talk on Flure, you can be sure that your communication is 100% secure. Keep your safe mode on if you want to avoid unsolicited explicit pics or texts. And rest assured that no screenshots are allowed! But once you are in the mood and ready for a spicy conversation, arm yourself with our useful guide to sexting emojis and a handful of tips on what to say when you sext.
For example, you can try these popular sexy emojis that can help you master adult dirty talk:
- Eggplant (🍆):
"I've been thinking about you all day 🍆💭"
- Peach (🍑):
"Can't wait to get my hands on that 🍑 tonight."
- Tongue (👅):
"I can't stop thinking about your lips 👅💋"
- Water Droplets (💦):
"You make me so wet 💦😈"
How to talk dirty on the phone
Turning up the heat from a distance—it’s all about using your voice to tease, tempt, and keep your partner on the edge of their seat. Make it playful, fun, and full of anticipation. Here are a few ideas to get the conversation started:
Longing
- I wish I was there.
- I wish I could hold you right now.
- I miss the way you feel inside of me.
In the mood
- Thinking about you is making me so wet/hard right now.
- I want to see you naked...right now.
- Just hearing your voice makes me want to touch myself.
Questions for playtime
- What are you wearing right now?
- What else do you like when I do it to you?
- I'm touching myself. Do you want to taste?
Naughty things to say in person
Dirty talk doesn’t have to happen exceptionally during the sex itself; if you are in public and feel naughty, some sex talk will surely turn you on! And if you just want to express your desires, say sexy things to your partner. You can discuss the sex you had last night or your plans for tonight. Sharing your thoughts and discussing them will bring you closer and make your sex life more rewarding.
Here are some examples:
I keep thinking about last night.
Thinking about you makes me want to touch myself.
I can’t wait to fuck you.
The bottom line
Dirty talk is all about connection, confidence, and having fun with your partner—it’s the art of turning words into passion, whether you’re whispering in person or heating things up from afar. The key is to keep it natural, playful, and in tune with each other’s desires. Once you find your rhythm, dirty talk can transform your intimacy, making every moment together feel electric and personal.
Ready to spark new connections? Download Flure now and find someone who’s on the same wavelength, whether it’s for flirty conversations or something more!
Ready to spark new connections? Download Flure now and find someone who’s on the same wavelength, whether it’s for flirty conversations or something more!
Flure isn’t just a dating app—it’s your gateway to meaningful connections and unforgettable experiences. Whether you’re seeking new friendships, someone special, or just exploring, Flure makes it easy to find your kind of people. Built on trust, safety, and authenticity, Flure turns your online dating into something truly magical. Ready to make connections that matter? Join Flure today and see where it takes you!
