The Art of Talking Dirty

In the context of consensual sex, dirty talk can change your experience and take you and your partner to the next level of intimacy. And you don’t need to be a pro in talking dirty to do it right and turn your partner on so much they will beg for more. Open the door to a bolder conversation about your desires with Flure’s magical guide about the right sounds and words to say in bed.

What is dirty talk?

Dirty talk is your verbal communication during sex. It serves multiple purposes: enhancing your emotions, opening dialogue when you are at the peak of intimacy, and strengthening your connection. But how do we master this art of dirty sex talk, in and out of the bedroom? The experts say it’s all about confidence and the emotional connection.

How to dirty talk in bed

If you have never tried saying naughty things to your partner when you are alone in the bedroom, you may want to begin. Here, consent is the key: what is a playful verbalization of one’s desires for some can be inappropriate for others, at least when you are still getting to know each other’s kinks. So grab these tips for beginners and slowly introduce your partner to a bold and sex dialogue in bed.
One of the goals of dirty talk is to express your desires and preferences. While for some people, it is a natural part of sex life, others don’t feel so confident. If you think your partner feels constrained, take the lead and make sure they are comfortable.
#1 Ask questions
Make sure you are on the same page. To ensure your partner’s comfort, ask questions about what they like or how they feel. This will help start your dialogue in bed and make you feel more connected.
"Is this okay?"
"Do you want to keep going?"
"Would you like to try something else?"
#2 Express your desires
Tell your partner what you enjoy or what you would like them to do. We are not mindreaders yet, and guiding each other with words is the best way to understand each other in bed.
"I love it when you touch me there."
"Could you go a bit slower/faster?"
#3 Guide them
For example, let them know if you want to switch positions or a tempo! Sometimes, it can greatly enhance your experience and will make you feel more open in bed.
"Can we try switching positions?"
"It feels better when you move like this."
"Can you adjust the angle a little?"
#4 Provide feedback
Let them know if something feels particularly good. It boosts confidence and is likely to make your sex even better. On the other hand, if something doesn’t feel quite right, don’t be shy about letting them know about it. Remember, the most important thing about dirty talk is to make the experience unforgettable for everyone.
"That feels so good."
"Keep doing that, I love it."
"I prefer it when you are gentler/more assertive."
#5 Make connection
Your experience will be more intimate and fulfilling if you express affection, love, and emotional closeness.
"I feel so close to you right now."
"You make me feel incredible."
"I love being with you like this."
#6 Address boundaries and express your needs
If something doesn’t feel right or you need a break, express it. Respecting the boundaries ensures everything is consensual throughout the process.
"I'm not comfortable with that."
"Can we stop for a moment?"
"I'd rather not do that."

Things to say during sex

You are free to discuss and negotiate what you want to say. Ensuring respect and consent is the key to mutual pleasure; once you are certain you are on the same page, feel free to express yourself!
In the bedroom
Confidence is important. Encourage your partner and let them know they are desired:

You feel so good inside me.
You do that so well.
Your cock/pussy feels amazing.
I love your body.
Build anticipation:

I'm so wet/hard right now.
I don't have any panties on.
I'm dripping.
I want you so bad.
Don’t overthink it. One-word classics should be easier and more complimenting than some complex, wordy sentences:
Narrate. Recognize their movements and tell them you like them:

I love the way you moan.
I love the way you taste.
Use names. Are there any names you like to be called? Baby? Slut? Daddy? Little girl? God? Using names will make it playful, so don’t be shy!
Make sounds. Sexy moaning will most definitely encourage your partner.
To finish off: say something when you are done to thank your partner and express your pleasure:

It was great.
You want to go again?

How to talk dirty over text

Online erotic communication is another form of sexual self-expression, and it can be quite as meaningful for your sex! It can range from suggestive words to explicit descriptions and spicy pics and nudes. In many ways, sexting reflects the usual verbal sexual communication but within a digital context. Like with everything else, consent is crucial in sexting. If you talk on Flure, you can be sure that your communication is 100% secure. Keep your safe mode on if you want to avoid unsolicited explicit pics or texts. And rest assured that no screenshots are allowed! But once you are in the mood and ready for a spicy conversation, arm yourself with our useful guide to sexy chats and a handful of tips on what to say when you sext.
It doesn’t matter if you are a couple or if you just met online. Confidence and safety is the key!
For some, it’s easier to write about their kinks/fantasies than to explain them in person.
Add a personal touch to show interest in what they say.
Feel free to use sex toys or tell them how you play with yourself while you talk.
Here are some suggestions on what to say:
I wish I was there.
I wish I could hold you right now.
I miss the way you feel inside of me.
I'm going to fuck you so hard when I see you.
Compliment them when they express themselves to you in a messenger, it always feels nice!

Naughty things to say in person

Dirty talk doesn’t have to happen exceptionally during the sex itself; if you are in public and feel naughty, some sex talk will surely turn you on! And if you just want to express your desires, say sexy things to your partner. You can discuss the sex you had last night or your plans for tonight. Sharing your thoughts and discussing them will bring you closer and make your sex life more rewarding.
Here are some examples:
I keep thinking about last night.
Thinking about you makes me want to touch myself.
I can’t wait to fuck you.

The bottom line

Your intimate verbal and written communication can be the key to a more fulfilling sex life. Express your desires and fantasies freely, show your partner that you appreciate them, give your feedback, and guide them if they feel constrained or shy. Embracing respectful and open sexual communication, whether it’s in person, in a messenger, or over the phone, will help you have more pleasurable experiences and feel more confident with your partner.