The Erotic Blueprint is a model developed and introduced by intimacy coach and sexologist Jaiya. Similarly to personality typologies or the concept of love languages, the Erotic Blueprint helps people understand who they are erotically and what arouses and satisfies their sexual desires the most.
The model is a part of the somatic sexology field that focuses on exploring intimacy and identifying unique differences and arousal responses that, too often, are generalized and not studied enough.
The goal of the framework is to help people understand themselves and encourage better and stronger sexual connection and enjoyment within their relationships. Once you identify and understand your sexual preferences, you can please yourself better; you can communicate your needs to your partner and, therefore, unlock stronger sexual pleasure and deeper intimacy between the two of you.
The Five Erotic Blueprints
There are five core types of Erotic Blueprints: Energetic, Sensual, Sexual, Kinky, and Shapeshifter. Some people stick to a specific blueprint category, others remain Shapeshifters, and some switch at some point as they grow older and stick to the new category forever.
Sexuality and intimacy are not set in stone, and there are exceptions to the rule, but the majority of people will find that they fit into one of the five categories nicely.
Energetic Blueprint
According to Jaiya, individuals with an energetic blueprint are aroused by three core factors:
- Space
- Anticipation
- Tease
These are very sensitive and slow-paced people. They take their time with arousal and get excited about a gradual sexual process. Approach them too fast or too aggressively, and they’ll shut down immediately.
If you or your partner is like that, make sure to include lots of foreplay in your sexual activities. Try sensual massages with oils, hot baths together, and different sex toys to get you started before the main act.
Sensual Blueprint
People with sensual erotic blueprints are aroused by touch, sound, and smell. They also thrive sexually on full-body connection, so things like getting fully undressed and entangling your bodies for a while before getting started is a good strategy.
These people must be fully relaxed and switched off from the external worries to be aroused.
Here, you should work with the environment and make it romantic and intimate. Dim the lights, light the candles, play soft music in the background, and add oils or other smells to create a vibe.
Sexual Blueprint
Someone who has a sexual erotic blueprint is relatively easy to please compared to some other types.
The good old stimulation and the act itself simply arouse sexual individuals. They love sex, find it fun, and engage in it to have a good time and relax.
The downside of this blueprint is that one can get stuck in one’s head and avoid experimenting or differentiating anything. They can focus just a bit too much on the end goal and turn sex into a means to an end rather than a magical experience between lovers.
If you feel that you or your partner are like that, implement small changes gradually. For instance, change the position for part of the intercourse or do all the same things but on the sofa rather than the bed. A small change can go a long way and enrich your sex life without making drastic changes.
Kinky Blueprint
If you’re excited about taboos, different power dynamics, and exploration, then you have a kinky blueprint.
Role-playing, trying BDSM, dominating, and being submissive are just a few of the kinks that one can desire.
People with kinky blueprints often deal with shame about their sexual cravings. Society, unsupportive partners, or strict upbringing instill this idea that anything that’s ever so slightly different from “traditional” sex is sinful, dirty, and perverted.
Needless to say, that’s not true, but changing one’s mindset can be challenging. Here, we can recommend being extra attentive to the needs of your kinky partner (or yourself), being open-minded, and agreeing to try things, but maybe in a milder, limited fashion before committing to full-on kinks. For example, if someone’s hottest fantasy is having sex in public spaces with the risk of getting caught, you can try and have sex on your balcony at night when the chance of someone seeing you is at its lowest. This will still create excitement and thrill, but you’ll be safe from actually facing the strangers watching you have sex.
Shapeshifter Blueprint
The final, fifth erotic blueprint is a shapeshifter. As you can guess by its name, shapeshifters are not standing still in terms of their sexual desires and preferences. Those people can enjoy and appreciate many things in the bedroom and beyond. They seek variety, and they’re open to whatever their partner suggests.
Shapeshifters can be aligned with a different blueprint for a longer period of time, for example, for the duration of a particular relationship. Then, once the new partner appears, they happily switch to something else.
Sometimes, couples where one partner is a shapeshifter, and the other one does not struggle sexually, if the shapeshifter is very active and unwilling to settle down, and the other partner is conservative and reluctant to experiment.
Another route for such situations is to adopt polyamory. It’s not for everyone, but sometimes, letting the shapeshifter wander and have sex with other people is what saves the relationship and allows the couple to stay together and have everyone’s needs met.
Tip: If you attempt to do this, we urge you not to agree to something like this out of fear of losing your lover. Doing something you absolutely hate and disagree with only to keep your partner by your side makes you unhappy and resentful. Eventually, it creates a huge conflict and causes a breakup in many cases. So, if you’re deeply against letting other people into your romance, don’t do it, you’ll only traumatize yourself and hurt the other partner in the process as well.
How to Identify Your Erotic Blueprint
Suppose you have no idea about erotic blueprints and struggle to identify your own, worry not. There are tried and tested ways to discover the type you align with.
Here are the key recommendations for how to find your erotic blueprint.
Take a Quiz
If you want a quick answer, taking an official quiz on Jaiya’s website can be a way to go. The result of the quiz will give you an idea and serve as a great starting point for further sexual exploration.
Go Down the Self-Reflection Route
A more fun and intimate way to explore your erotic blueprint would be to find some time in your day and think about what usually turns you on, what your secret sex fantasy growing up was, and what it is now that you’re an adult, what is a no-no for you, and what are the highs and the lows of your current sexual relationship with your partner.
If you struggle to get the ball rolling, use the following question to help you get started:
- Do you enjoy teasing and foreplay?
- What makes you instantly aroused?
- What element of sex are you dreading?
- Do you care about emotional connection in sex?
- Have you had different experiences with sex? Do you like/want that?
- Is pushing boundaries of normalcy sexy for you?
Once you’re done with these questions, ask yourself: Have I ever been fully satisfied with my sex life?
Remembering past sexual encounters can be fun, but here you’ll need a more scientific approach to this trip down memory lane.
- Think of your most and least fulfilling experiences
- Analyze why they were awesome or terrible
- Think of the one thing that makes them memorable the most
The insights you’ll gain at this step will point you in the right direction and help confirm or deny the quiz results if you take it.
Talk to Your Partner
We are firm believers in talking about sex as a couple.
The more you discuss the sex itself, the different types of it, what turns you on or puts you off, and what you’d like to try sometime, the better your sex will be.
Is it going to be awkward at times? Absolutely! But it’s worth going through the discomfort to get to the end goal – excellent sex life. Sex is an important part of most adults' lives, and talking about it promotes intimacy between lovers and creates a more fulfilling sex life for them.
As you initiate those talks, remember the core principles of healthy communication:
- No accusations, only sharing your feelings
- Listening and processing what the partner is saying
- Discussing disagreements respectfully
- Aiming to find a compromise
- Taking action after you’ve agreed on something
Why Erotic Blueprints Matter
Exploring sexual desires is something anyone can do, and there are many reasons why that’s a great idea.
- Sex education is not excellent in most places of the world, and many of us are growing up not understanding what we’re doing sexually. This leads to mediocre sex experiences and frustration.
- Knowing what you like in sex and what you don’t and communicating your needs to your partner makes the relationship stronger. You’re not dreading having sex, and when you’re having it, it’s not underwhelming, which makes you happier and more satisfied with the whole relationship.
- Suppose you struggle with shame or stigma associated with your sexual desires. In that case, learning more about the types of sexualities and what they imply will be a step on the way to breaking free from limiting beliefs and embracing what you enjoy.
- If you’re in the process of looking for a special someone, understanding your sexual preferences is super important. It helps you match more precisely and find the right partner sooner.
Practical Tips for Integrating Erotic Blueprints into Your Life
It’s one thing to understand your erotic blueprint and a whole different story of how to apply it in your daily life.
- Once you know your type, dedicate time to studying and learning more about it.
- Talk about your needs and wants with a partner, and try to be clear, even if you’re somewhat shy or embarrassed by the topic.
- Incorporate the key elements of the blueprint into your next intercourse, such as soft lighting for sensual types or a straight-to-action approach for sexual activity.
- Plan date nights where you’ll go full-throttle on the blueprints that align with you or your lover.
- Be kind to yourselves and allow time to adapt and change.
- Reach out to a sex therapist if you’re feeling stuck.
Final Thoughts
It’s possible to live a happy sex life without diving into the world of erotic blueprints, but you have to be lucky to know exactly what you want and have a supportive partner.
Most individuals will benefit from exploring the topic and trying to understand their sexual needs better. After all, sex is fun, and sex isn’t meant to be stale and repetitive. If you find out something about yourself or your partner, this is a great chance to try something new and reignite the spark in the bedroom.
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