Rise and shine! There is a new dating term in town. This time, Flure invites you to dive into a sneaky link – a dating trend (or fad?) that is blowing up on TikTok right now.
What is a sneaky link?
The meaning of sneaky link depends on who you ask, but the more-or-less accepted definition is that of a concept of secretive dating, usually with the intention of having sex.
Some see a sneaky link suggestion as an insult because it may seem that the person wants to use you for sex or other forms of intimacy, but is ashamed of being seen with you in public. Others welcome sneaky links as a way to have your sexual needs met without drawing too much attention from friends or family or having to play the dating game.
If you ask the Flure team, this trend is nowhere near as bad as other things, such as benching.
How to get a sneaky link
Often, we find sneaky links through dating online or going out. And sometimes we become sneaky links ourselves. Remember how Carrie was dating Mr.Big, and at some point, they were meeting in the parts of the city where nobody would see them? Ouch, that was painful to watch.
If you fancy the idea of having a sneaky link at your speed dial, here’s how you can do that.
- Find potential candidates and get to know them. Have casual conversations, ask about their life, hobbies, and whatnot. Have a feel for who they are and if they might agree to discreet meetups. Don’t ask them immediately after being introduced to them or linking online because it would be weird.
- Ask in a respectful and direct manner. Don’t pretend you’re after something more than secret dates because we don’t want to give people wrong impressions. Also, refrain from pressuring them into sneaky linking, and never resort to manipulation. It’s unethical and will 100% backfire.
- Know when to ask. Make sure to drop the big question when there’s just the two of you, and there is enough time to discuss it, plus the atmosphere is chill.
- Respect their privacy. Verbalize it from the start, and respect their privacy later on. The whole point of a sneaky link is that nobody finds out, even if you really want to boast about it.
- Respect their boundaries. The other person has the right to decline your offer or change their mind at any time. Take it like a champ, and don’t try to persuade them to give it a try or keep going.
Signs you are somebody’s sneaky link
If you have a feeling that you’re someone’s sneaky link, check our list below and see how many points match your situation. If you agree with a couple of them or more, you might indeed be one's sneaky link.
- They’re only available to meet you at certain times or in certain places.
- They’re secretive about their life, what they’re doing, work, etc.
- They don’t want to add you on their socials (a huge red flag if you ask us).
- They’re trying not to introduce you to people if you bump into someone on the street, and they’re equally not in a rush for you to meet their friends or family.
- Their emotional intimacy is limited, they’re often distant or detached.
- Conversations about your future as a romantic couple do not go well, ever.
- They ask you out last minute and rarely (if ever) plan your dates in advance.
Sneaky link vs situationship
The huge difference between a sneaky link and a situationship is that the latter mostly ends with one of the people getting hurt. In situationships, there is one person who wants more from the relationship, and the other one is happy with the ambiguous and uncertain nature of the romance. There are also a lot of intentional misleading and mixed messages in situationships, whereas sneaky links can be perfectly transparent and agreed on by all parties from the start.
Sneaky link vs friends with benefits
Sneaky links and friends with benefits (FWB) are very similar. Both are casual and usually imply that two (or more) people are in it for the fun. The key difference between the two is that FWBs can choose to go public, whereas a sneaky link is a secret by nature.
Is sneaky link cheating?
Sneaky links are secretive, but they don’t automatically mean cheating. If all partners are single or not exclusive with anyone and engage in sneaky linking, then there’s de facto no cheating. But if one of the partners is in a committed relationship with someone else, then arranging sneaky links is infidelity for sure.
Downsides of the sneaky link arrangement
Don’t get us wrong – sneaky linking can be very fun. And hot! There’s something exciting about two people meeting discreetly with dirty thoughts in mind.
However, there are always two sides to every story, and sneaky links have their cons too. First of all, there is a good chance that this situation will result in someone’s feelings getting hurt if one of the partners isn't fully committed to the arrangement. Say, you like someone but they only want casual hookups, so they hit you up anytime they’re horny. You’d like to say No or ask for more but don’t want to risk losing your crush for good, so inevitably continue meeting secretly.
Lower self-esteem is the second common downside of sneaky linking. When someone we like doesn’t want to be seen with us – this stuff hurts. Ruining your self-esteem (and mental health, for that matter) is much easier than restoring it back. So think twice before rolling the dice.
Sneaky link tips and rules
There are recommendations you can follow to make the most of your sneaky link hookups.
- Agree on expectations and boundaries from the start.
- Always be mindful of the other person’s privacy.
- Ask for their consent before engaging in sexy time.
- Practice mutual respect, even if you’re super casual.
- Have fun! Enjoy the time you have together.
