Let’s talk about dating rules! Do we need them? What are the hottest dos and don’ts these days? For starters, we’ll go through the rules that make sense in this day and age.
Rule 1: Share your expectations early on
The world is changing. Being mysterious and hiding your true intentions is not in right now. Many people, especially Gen Z are into radical transparency. They eagerly share what’s on their mind and what they want from their romances.
That’s why you’ll probably benefit from openly sharing your expectations too. Are you looking for “the one”? Or perhaps you’ve just broken up with a long-term partner and want to have some casual fun more than anything? Whatever it is, spill it. We all have our lives to live, so why waste time hanging out with someone you don’t watch with? Even if they’re cute, it’s probably not worth it.
Rule 2: Dating multiple people is okay
Back in the day, dating multiple people at once was frowned upon, especially if you were a woman. However, there’s nothing terrible about seeing several people simultaneously if you’re not in an exclusive relationship with anyone. Finding your perfect match is hard, so why would you intentionally reduce your chances of finding love? Makes no sense! So, as long as you’re not misleading or hurting anyone, feel free to go on dates with several individuals and see who you like the most.
Rule 3: No need to talk about your ex
What’s in the past should stay in the past. Talking about your ex on the first date or weeks into dating gives off the feeling that you’re not over them, and that’s not cute. Imagine you’re seeing someone you really like, and they go on and on about how their ex did this and that. Ew. Also, it’s equally bad if you’re saying good things and bad, simply don’t mention your ex at all.
Rule 4: Give them time to reach out again
Once the date is over, don’t panic if they don’t text you within 24 hours. In fact, even a week is not the end of the world. Chances are, they’re busy or they need to figure out if you guys are compatible or not. Once they text or call you, watch out for how they do it. Are they trying to make plans for the next date? Or are they just saying something lame, like “Hey, what’s up”. If you don’t hear from the person for more than two weeks, they’re probably not interested and you can move on.
Rule 5: Don’t stick to a salad on a dinner date
Again, that’s something that typically a lot of heterosexual women have to deal with, but that’s a universal issue nonetheless. Don’t pretend you eat like a bird on dates to create a certain impression. Eat that burger, or whatever else you fancy.
Rule 6: Don’t pretend
As a follow-up to rule 5 – be who you are. Eat what you want, say your honest thoughts, and act just like you always do. If they don’t like you for who you are – it’s their loss.
Rule 7: Wait with sex, but for other reasons
We’re all for sex positivity and following your instincts. There’s nothing wrong with sex on the first date as such, but it can mess up your perception of the person. Think about it. You don’t really know them, you’ve seen them a couple of times, probably over some cute and romantic setting.
So far, you think they’re perfect. If you sleep with them now, you’ll probably feel different about them, and if they show their flaws down the line, you’ll be more inclined to brush them off and ignore all the red flags. We don’t want you to get stuck with someone who’s not for you because you’re attached to them over sexual intimacy and don’t want the fantasy to break up.
Are dating rules outdated?
Now that we’ve talked about all the rules of dating, let’s pause for a moment and think if these dating rules are even relevant in modern life. At Flure, we’re very pro doing our own thing, following your heart, and not conforming to outdated societal norms.
At the same time, not all rules are bad. Some of them help us navigate the complex dating world without making ourselves too vulnerable or accidentally hurting others. For example, in some cultures, it’s an unwritten rule to bring a small gift on your first date. There’s nothing wrong with it, right? Another example is texting the person who’s taken you on a date and thanking them for a good time. It’s cute and makes them feel appreciated.
Dating rules you should definitely ditch
Before we sign off, let’s go through some rules that you should absolutely not follow. These have no place in modern dating life and should be abolished forever.
- Waiting for the guy (or other person of a different gender) to make the first move. Seriously, it’s time to bury this tradition of waiting for the other person to show interest. We can all be active and take initiative.
- Sticking to traditional gender roles in general. For real, you don’t need to confirm with the norms that were already outdated a century ago.
- Playing games. Playing hard to get is still a thing, and some would argue it helps you attract the person and deepen their interest in you. The way we see it at Flure, authenticity, and genuineness will always be more attractive and hot than any mind games out there.
- Keeping it light for the first date. Avoiding serious and potentially controversial topics is lame, whether it’s your first date or your tenth, online dating or meeting in person. Why would you want to spend hours on a person only to find out your meaningful views do not align at all?
- Counting days before you can do something. Having sex, traveling together, and saying “I love you” has nothing to do with the number of days that have passed. Every relationship is unique, so don’t listen to anyone who says that you need to wait XYZ days before attempting something.
- Ignoring red flags. If you see a red flag, especially a lot of them, run in the opposite direction. Don’t wait, they’re unlikely to go away. Don’t be afraid to break up and say no to the next date if you’re not compatible with the person. It’s important to learn to end relationships early, especially if you’re a woman. Women continue to be shamed for all sorts of things, including being promiscuous and having too many relationships or ending them too quickly. Let’s all stop this generational trauma and the suffering.
