Sex, money, and power are the world’s three greatest pleasures. If you’d like to enjoy them all at once, you should try findom.
What is findom, exactly?
The word findom comes from financial domination.
It is a kink or a fetish that’s centered around power dynamics and money. There are two main characters in findom:
The kink is not sexual in the sense of getting naked and having sex together, but it’s rooted in emotional control and arousal from being bossed around and surrendering your autonomy and control over personal finances.
And you know what? In this economy, what a wonderful kink to try as a findomme!
Findommes get to:
It is a kink or a fetish that’s centered around power dynamics and money. There are two main characters in findom:
- The dominant person, also known as findomme, cash master, or mistress.
- The submissive person, often referred to as a paypig or a money slave.
The kink is not sexual in the sense of getting naked and having sex together, but it’s rooted in emotional control and arousal from being bossed around and surrendering your autonomy and control over personal finances.
And you know what? In this economy, what a wonderful kink to try as a findomme!
Findommes get to:
- Control one’s spending
- Demand financial transactions
- Prohibit financial operations
- Dictate what is purchased and invested in
Why do people enjoy findom?
It's certainly clear why a mistress would enjoy findom. You get to exercise your power and control someone's spending, and you get them to spend their hard-earned cash on you without even sleeping or foreplaying with this person! It's very empowering and gives a substantial psychological thrill.
But what about the money slave?
These guys enjoy not being in control and giving it up completely. Not only are they seeking humiliation, but they also want to be devoted to someone unconditionally and get all excited and aroused when someone's bossing them and their finances around.
Many people in positions of power enjoy findom or various variations of it. When you're a leader or have significant responsibilities, letting go and being submissive is almost a luxury. Nothing and nobody depends on you, giving you a weird sense of freedom and calm.
The dangers of findom
While Findom portrays a pretty picture, you need to be cautious of the potential dangers and downsides of this kink.
#1 Overstepping the boundaries
First and foremost, if you’re the cash master, watch out for the paypig. Although the kink does not involve sex, and you shouldn’t be giving anything in return besides dominance and bossing around, the money slave may eventually want more.
There’s nothing wrong with it per se, but it’s important that you establish boundaries and rules from the start to draw the line for what’s allowed and what’s not. If the paypig starts acting up too much, like getting angry with you or showing up places, cut them off and take temporary measures to protect yourself.
If the submissive person is not someone you know well but rather a person you met on the internet or through friends of friends, make sure you don’t share too much personal information with them. For example, if they’re spending money on you and get you gifts, don’t let them see your address. If they’re paying for your or someone else’s holidays, process the payment yourself and have them dictate you the card number and verification codes. That way, they won’t know where to find you.
Not to freak you out, but some people eventually have the lines blurred and start to think that they deserve more, despite the initial arrangement.
#2 Creating financial difficulties
Another risk of findom kink is having someone lose everything they have and end up in a devastating financial situation. As a dominant figure, you need to act responsibly. Push, but don’t break them.
It’s your ethical obligation to not exploit vulnerable paypigs and keep your appetites within their limits.
If you’re a sub who’s fearing for their financial stability, you need to have a talk. Don’t take the kink too far and ruin your future. In ethical findom practice, you and the cash master are a team, even though you’re lower in the hierarchy.
Honest and open communication and consent should play a big role, and if they’re pressuring you to do something you don’t want to, have a talk with them. If they don’t listen, end the arrangement and walk away immediately. There will be many more mistresses who will not abuse you.
In fact, findom, understandably, attracts many scammers and frauds looking for a quick buck. One of the ways to identify con artists is by how open and transparent they are, and how they communicate with you. Don’t let anyone use you in a way that’s toxic.
Safety and consent tips for findom
Here is a checklist for keeping yourself and your mistress safe during findom play.
- Set clear boundaries and follow them. For example, determine spending limits and the frequency of transactions.
- Negotiate all the details and share your expectations on what the process will look like.
- Get mutual explicit consent from one another. Focus on this kink being enthusiastic and completely free-willed. No manipulation or pressuring, please.
- Come up with an exit plan to make sure you both can opt out if you’re no longer emotionally or financially fit for the kink.
- Research and implement secure payment methods so that neither of you is compromised financially or otherwise.
- Check in regularly, regardless of your role, to ensure you’re both still up for it and everyone enjoys the arrangement.
- Don’t ignore the red flags. If you spot something odd, don’t brush it off. A big red flag, for example, is when they actively pressure you to go over budget and/or threaten you if you disobey.
Follow these findom safety tips and don’t let anyone spoil your fantasy. Exploring findom ethically is really not that hard, if anyone’s trying to gaslight you about what’s okay and what’s not, block them and move on.
Getting started: how to explore findom?
If you’re going to experience all the pleasures and the benefits of findom, you need to start now!
- Learn more about the kink, the rules, the nuances, the hidden pleasures, the best practices, and the dark side of it, too. This article is a good start, but the more you know about it, the better prepared you’ll be and the more positive your experience will be.
- Choose your role. Would you like to be the cash master or the cash pic? You don’t need to be super rich to be a cash slave, by the way, it’s all about the limits and the budgets you set up.
- Choose a platform to find someone to play findom with. Flure, for instance, is a good option. We’re focusing on sex positivity and attracting a lot of people who are up for all sorts of kinks, relationship types, and arrangements. We also value your security, so you won’t have to worry about compromised messages. There are also many online forums and communities that attract like-minded people. Just make sure to spot scammers early on and stay clear of them.
- Start small once you settle on a partner or several of them. It’s best to deal with smaller amounts first and gradually expand your budget. Go too hard too soon – and you’ll probably overwhelm yourself and end up with no savings or disposable income.
Final thoughts
We sometimes get a question “Is findom normal? Is it really something you can do and enjoy?”, and we get where those questions are coming from.
Money is a weird subject, and people may feel icky mixing sexual arousal and cash. It’s definitely not for everyone, but if you treat money as an instrument and a means to an end, then it can be rewarding to engage in findom.
Remember that you can always stop, pause, or rearrange the findom kink. You don’t really owe anything to anyone, so if you feel it’s no longer serving you or being scammed, it’s best to terminate the game and reassess the dynamic. If you analyze what’s going on and decide it’s all good, resume it. If you want something changed – do it.
Flure isn’t just a dating app—it’s your gateway to meaningful connections and unforgettable experiences. Whether you’re seeking new friendships, someone special, or just exploring, Flure makes it easy to find your kind of people. Built on trust, safety, and authenticity, Flure turns your online dating into something truly magical. Ready to make connections that matter? Join Flure today and see where it takes you!
