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What Does It Mean To Be Sex Positive? All You Need to Know

Sex positivity is the belief that all consensual sexual experiences and expressions are valid, healthy, and worthy of respect. It promotes open communication, education, and the rejection of shame or judgment around sexuality, empowering individuals to make informed choices that align with their values and desires.
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What is sex positivity?

Sex positivity is the acceptance and celebration of all consensual sexual expressions and practices without judgment or stigma. It encourages open dialogue, informed decision-making, and mutual respect in matters of sexuality and relationships.

Sex-positive examples

Sex positivity can show up in various ways, including:

  • Supporting comprehensive sex education
Advocating for accurate, inclusive, and age-appropriate information about sexuality, health, and relationships.
  • Respecting personal choices
Valuing everyone’s right to make their own decisions about their sexual experiences, whether they choose to be sexually active or not.
  • Promoting safe and consensual practices
Encouraging conversations about consent, boundaries, and safer sex methods like contraception or STI prevention.
  • Celebrating diverse identities and orientations
Acknowledging and affirming the spectrum of sexual orientations, gender identities, and relationship preferences.
  • Fostering open communication
Creating safe spaces where people can talk openly about their desires, boundaries, and questions without fear of shame.

These practices help build a more inclusive and understanding perspective on human sexuality.

Does "sex-negativity" exist?

Absolutely, sex-negativity is real. It’s the mindset that treats sex and sexuality as taboo, shameful, or wrong. You’ve probably seen it in hush-hush conversations, judgmental attitudes, or discomfort when sexual topics come up. It’s that feeling that certain choices or identities are "bad" or "inappropriate."

Sex-negativity often comes from cultural or societal norms that push shame or misinformation. It can discourage people from exploring their identities, asking questions, or talking openly about sex and relationships. By challenging these ideas, we create space for healthier, more accepting conversations about sexuality.

From "sexual revolution" to "sex positivity"

The journey from the sexual revolution to modern sex positivity reflects decades of cultural and societal shifts around sexuality. The sexual revolution of the 1960s and 1970s challenged traditional norms, advocating for sexual freedom, reproductive rights, and the destigmatization of premarital sex. This movement paved the way for discussing autonomy, pleasure, and relationship equality.

By the 1980s and 1990s, conversations around sexuality expanded to include a broader understanding of consent, safer sex practices (primarily spurred by the AIDS crisis), and the validation of diverse sexual orientations and identities. Feminist movements of the time also played a key role, critiquing power dynamics in sexual relationships and emphasizing the importance of mutual respect and agency.

The term “sex positivity” began to take root as a way to embrace all consensual sexual practices, moving beyond liberation to focus on inclusivity, education, and choice. It rejected judgment and shame, supporting everything from abstinence to BDSM as long as it involved informed consent and respect for boundaries.

Today, sex positivity continues to evolve, advocating for comprehensive sex education, open dialogue, and the normalization of conversations about sexuality. It recognizes the diversity of human experiences, fostering a culture where individuals can explore their desires and boundaries without fear of stigma or judgment.

What does it mean to be sex-positive in today’s culture?

Being sex-positive today is about ditching shame and embracing the freedom to explore, question, and celebrate your sexuality—whatever that looks like for you. It’s a modern mindset rooted in respect, consent, and the belief that all consensual sexual expressions are valid and worthy of dignity.

In today’s culture, sex positivity means creating space for open conversations—whether it’s about boundaries, desires, or identities—and rejecting the outdated idea that there’s a "right" way to experience sex. It’s about empowering people to own their choices, whether they’re celibate, kinky, monogamous, or anything in between.

At its core, sex positivity is a cultural shift toward inclusivity, education, and acceptance. It’s championing safer sex practices, advocating for marginalized voices, and fostering a world where everyone feels seen and respected in their unique sexual journey.

Sex-positivity & mental well-being

Sex positivity isn’t just about feeling good in your body—it’s about freeing your mind, too. Embracing a sex-positive mindset can ease the heavy burdens of shame, guilt, or fear tied to outdated societal norms. By welcoming open, honest conversations about sex, people can feel more confident in their choices and more connected to themselves and others.

We create space for stronger relationships and deeper trust when we remove judgment and embrace consent, communication, and inclusivity. Feeling safe and accepted in your sexual identity can boost self-esteem and reduce stress, paving the way for healthier emotional and mental well-being.

Sex positivity also shines when it comes to diversity. Celebrating the full spectrum of sexual orientations, identities, and expressions helps break down stigmas that can fuel anxiety and isolation. It’s not just about acceptance—it’s about empowerment, giving people the freedom to explore and own their unique stories with pride and peace of mind.

How to be sex positive

Being sex positive is about embracing openness, education, and respect in how you approach your own sexuality and others’. It’s a journey of unlearning stigmas and celebrating the diversity of human experiences. Here’s how you can practice sex positivity:

Value your sexuality

Recognize that your sexual feelings, desires, or lack thereof are valid and deserve respect. Embrace your preferences and boundaries without guilt, and allow yourself to explore what feels authentic to you.

Share and respect pronouns

Using and respecting others' pronouns fosters an inclusive environment and shows that you honor their identity. It's a simple but powerful way to affirm someone's gender and build mutual trust and understanding.

Question your reactions toward sex

Notice how you react to conversations about sex and where those feelings come from. Challenging any internalized shame or judgment allows you to replace outdated beliefs with a more open and informed perspective.

Advocate for sex-positive policies and organizations

Support comprehensive sex education, inclusive healthcare, and organizations that promote sexual well-being. Advocacy helps create systemic change and ensures that more people have access to the resources and respect they deserve.

Learn more about sex positivity

Educate yourself by reading, listening, or attending workshops on sexuality, consent, and healthy relationships. The more you know, the more you can challenge misconceptions and help others understand sex positivity.

See a sex therapist

If you struggle with sexual concerns or internalized shame, a sex-positive therapist can help. They provide a safe space to explore your feelings, address challenges, and build a healthier relationship with your sexuality.

Celebrate diversity

Respect and embrace the full range of sexual orientations, genders, and relationship styles. Acknowledging that there’s no “one-size-fits-all” approach to sexuality is central to sex positivity.
Practicing sex positivity is an ongoing effort to create a world where everyone feels safe, respected, and empowered in their sexual identity and choices.

Resources to learn on how to be sex-positive

Exploring sex positivity can be enlightening and empowering. Here are some resources to guide you:

  • "Action: A Book About Sex" by Amy Rose Spiegel
This book offers candid discussions on sexuality, encouraging readers to embrace their desires without shame.
  • "Come As You Are" by Emily Nagoski
Nagoski delves into the science of sex, helping readers understand their bodies and desires.
  • "The Ethical Slut" by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy
A comprehensive guide to consensual non-monogamy, emphasizing communication and consent.
  • "Sex Positive" Documentary
This film explores the life of Richard Berkowitz and the origins of the safe sex movement.
  • "Sexuality and Social Justice: A Toolkit" by Meg-John Barker
A resource that links sex positivity with broader social justice issues.
  • "Pleasure Activism" by adrienne maree brown
This collection of essays examines the politics of feeling good and the importance of pleasure in activism.
  • "Sexuality: A Very Short Introduction" by Veronique Mottier
An accessible overview of the study of sexuality, touching on historical and cultural perspectives.
  • "Sexual Citizens" by Jennifer S. Hirsch and Shamus Khan
An exploration of sexual assault on college campuses, offering insights into creating a more sex-positive culture.
  • "The Sex Myth" by Rachel Hills
A critique of societal expectations around sex and how they shape our identities.
  • "Sex at Dawn" by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá
A provocative look at the evolution of human sexuality and its implications for modern relationships.

Additionally, consider exploring the Flure app, a platform designed to connect like-minded individuals in a sex-positive environment. Flure encourages open communication and exploration of desires, aligning with the principles of sex positivity.

Conclusion

Sex positivity is more than just a movement; it's a transformative approach to personal and societal attitudes towards sex and sexuality. It champions the idea that sexual expression is a natural and valuable part of the human experience, deserving of respect and freedom from judgment. By embracing sex positivity, we can build a more inclusive, understanding, and fulfilling world. Embracing sex positivity is not only about personal liberation but also about fostering a culture that values consent, communication, and respect in all sexual encounters. It's about creating a world where everyone can explore their sexuality without fear or shame. By promoting education, understanding, and empathy, we can all contribute to a more sex-positive society.

FAQ

What does it mean to be sex positive?

Being sex positive means embracing an open, respectful, and non-judgmental attitude toward all consensual sexual expressions and practices, while prioritizing consent and education.

How can you tell if someone is sex positive?

A sex-positive person respects diverse sexual choices, supports open communication about sex, and avoids shaming or judging others' preferences.

What is the difference between sex positive and sex-negative?

Sex positivity celebrates and normalizes consensual sexual expressions, while sex-negativity views sex as taboo, shameful, or inherently harmful, often discouraging open discussions and exploration.