Who doesn’t like to be complimented? Especially, when it’s done by someone we like, and the words they say are sincere and flattering. Giving compliments is an easy way to cheer someone up, and it’s a wonderful way to start a conversation with the person you fancy.
Today we’ll dive deep into the topic of complimenting, and learn how to give compliments that stand out, find out the do’s and don’ts, and look at some of the examples that can inspire you to come up with your own compliments.
Why give compliments at all?
Before we get into details, let’s focus on why one should compliment others.
Firstly, complimenting someone you like is fun and gives you both a feeling of happiness. Expressing your admiration for what the person is doing or exhibiting helps you build a connection with them. In a way, it’s similar to smiling at someone you’ve accidentally met eyes with. You’re demonstrating your positive attitude, and you’re making the other person’s day more positive as a bonus.
And in a bit more selfish sense, the more you give compliments, the more you’re likely to receive them. And who doesn’t want that? More often than not, we’ll not voice our praise if we see something or someone we love. By being a living example, you’ll encourage others to mimic your behavior. Next thing you know – you’ll be surrounded by a happier crowd that is radiating good vibes.
Lastly, if you’re talking to a friend or a love interest who’s shy, complimenting them more often will help them build confidence. Just don’t overdo it and make it cringe.
How to compliment people around you
Let’s find out how to make compliments that are sweet and meaningful. For starters, let’s go over the main do’s and don’ts of this fine art.
The do’s of complimenting
Here are the tips that the Flure team collected from personal experience and expert opinions. Use them all to give your best compliments yet!
- Speak from the heart. Yes, you can absolutely compliment someone when you don’t mean it. But that isn’t fun, is it? Instead, do it when you really want to tell someone they’re great. Genuine way is the right way. People can feel that you’re not being sincere and you’ll only ruin your relationship with that.
- Focus on what’s inside rather than the looks. Complimenting someone’s figure and features is still okay, of course, but only at the right time and place. To be safe, pay attention to the person’s character and personal traits. Are they an attentive listener? Do they instantly make every space they enter feel cozier? Make sure to tell them!
- Give gender-neutral compliments a try. Millennials and Gen Z have bent sexual norms and transformed how we view sexuality over the past few years. You can use words or phrases that don’t attribute to a specific gender, such as “your outfit is beyond stylish” or “that haircut looks sick on you”. That way you’ll give good compliments without making assumptions about someone’s gender.
The don'ts of complimenting
Now let’s look at some of the things that you should not do when complimenting people around you.
- Number one rule – stay clear of backhanded compliments! Unless you’re in your villain era and are actively trying to make someone uncomfortable, of course. Backhanded compliments are toxic, and instead of bringing joy to the other party, you make them feel miserable. For example, someone saying that you are brave to wear short skirts with the shape of your legs is definitely giving you a backhanded compliment. Basically, anything that is an insult disguised as flattery is a big No.
- Avoid sexualizing and objectifying the person with your compliments. Obviously, if you’re both in a flirty mood and want to fool around, a little bit of inappropriate complimenting will only help spice things up. Yet, if you’re in a coffee shop or in the workspace – do your best to avoid inappropriate compliments. You’ll 100% make it weird, and you also can be accused of harassment.
- Speaking of harassment – catcalling is NOT a compliment, neither is it cute or funny. Yelling questionable compliments at someone across the street is about having power over them, and not making them feel good.
- Don’t repeat your compliments to everyone. Telling 15 girls they look cute today is not a crime, but please make your compliments unique and say different things to different people.
More tips on how to give compliments
Complimenting can be hard! And you might cringe internally as you try and do it the first couple of times, but don’t worry! You’ll get better with time. And for now, use our tips to navigate the complimenting world.
- Focus on something that the person is proud of. Like if your boyfriend worked really hard to learn to play piano and he’s happy with the progress he’s making – go ahead, give them that serotonin boost!
- Go for the non-obvious things. Anyone can tell Jacob Elordi that he’s gorgeously handsome, but not every person can highlight that scene where they think he really took the character to the next level.
- Avoid fishing for compliments when giving them to others. It’s just bad taste.
- Keep it in your pants. Don’t compliment someone too much or use too many words to say what you mean. Otherwise, you can make them uncomfortable.
Good compliment examples
Let’s look at some of the examples of beautiful compliments that will make your crush’s heart melt:
- Talking to you is the best part of my day.
- On a 1 to 10 scale, you’re a solid 100.
- Spending time with you is always a treat.
- Your sense of style needs to be studied.
- Your laugh is contagious.
- I bet you can do anything you put your mind to.
- How do you always look so effortlessly cool?
How to take compliments
Before we sign off, let’s go over some basics of responding to compliments.
When people say nice things to you, fight the urge to downplay whatever they’ve complimented (the entire Flure team is guilty as charged). Instead, thank them and compliment them back if that’s appropriate. For example, if a guy you like at the gym says your lifting has improved significantly, don’t tell him he’s wrong followed by the five reasons why he’s wrong. Instead, say thanks and add something nice, like how you admire his discipline and consistency with workouts.
Many of us, especially women, are deeply uncomfortable with hearing good things about ourselves. But this has to stop now! Everyone is beautiful, everyone is a princess, and we all deserve to be loved and cherished.
