Today, we will discuss kinks, their types, ways to determine what turns you on the most, and tips for integrating kin into your intimate life.
There’s nothing wrong with knowing what you like and doing just that; sometimes, we all crave something different, something spicier that can shake things up in the bedroom and make us remember how incredible sex is.
If you’re thinking about that, kinks can be the answer.
What Are Kinks?
Kinks are all the so-called non-traditional sexual interests that conservative adults frown upon (at least in public). Those are the behaviors and fantasies that one has about sex that may seem somewhat original or controversial.
Kinks can be overlooked, but if someone has a preference, indulging in it and exploring it together with the partner is critical to having a healthier sex life and a better mental state, as constant dissatisfaction in the bedroom and feelings of shame or having this “dark” secret drains one emotionally and makes them unhappy in the long run.
The Difference Between Kink, Fetish and BDSM
Thanks to Fifty Shades of Grey and the general lack of sex education in our society, a lot of people assume that BDSM equals kinks. In reality, BDSM is only one type of kinky behavior, and there are many more of them for you to explore, such as role-playing or sensory play when someone drips wax on your body or explores it with an ice cube.
Kinks vs. Fetishes
Another common misconception about kinks is that they’re the same as fetishes. There is a big difference, though.
- Kinks are all about elevating sexual experiences and making the arousal stronger and more intensive.
- Fetishes are centered around an object, activity, or body part; those elements are integral to arousal. For example, foot fetishists can’t get it up unless they see or touch someone’s feet.
As you see, a person who enjoys kinks can have “regular” sex without them, but a fetishist must have their fetish be a part of the process, or else there will be no sexual arousal.
Types of Kinky Ideas to Explore
Now that we know what kinks are and what they’re not, let’s look at the many types out there.
Check our ultimate A-Z guide about kinks and fetishes.
Tip: You don’t have to try them all, of course, but treat it as a list of fun sex ideas that you can explore and experiment with at your own pace. Sex is an integral part of life. Mixing new kinks with your typical sex date can freshen up your relationship and bring the fun back into sex.
#1 BDSM
Let’s start with the unofficial leader of kinks – BDSM.
BDSM stands for:
- Bondage
- Discipline
- Sadism
- Masochism
It is an umbrella term that encompasses many different practices, and the intensity of those practices differs widely depending on personal taste and past experiences. The standard practices include impact play (spanking or flogging), deprivation (blindfolds or restraints), edge play, role-playing, and power exchange (master and slave combo).
Trust and consent play an essential role in BDSM and all other kinks as well. When partners engage in it responsively, BDSM can be empowering and help deepen the intimacy between the participants.
#2 Role-playing
This is a relatively self-explanatory and easy kink.
Two (or more) individuals create a fantasy and bring it to life. Common role-playing scenarios involve some kind of power dynamics, such as being a professor and a university student, a boss and a subordinate, a cop and a suspect, or a housecleaner and the homeowner.
The practice can be problematic if it indulges in violence or emulates illegal behavior, but overall, it’s largely positive and fun.
#3 Sensory play
Sensory play involves playing with our core senses – sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch.
This kink enhances arousal by stimulating or depriving one of the senses. It helps heighten the sensations and build anticipation.
The examples of sensory play kink are:
- Touching one’s body with feathers, silk, wax, flowers, and anything else really
- Creating an abrupt temperature change
- Limiting sight with blindfolds or by turning the lights off completely
- Whispering words to make the other person pay extra close attention to what is being said
- Using earplugs to limit the hearing and pairing it with blindfolds to disorient the person
- Playing certain music or white noise to set the mood
- Playing with food and the body
- Trying different flavored essential oils or lubes to add a new scent
Sensory play can be gentle or intense, but either way, it is an accessible kink that would work for many people.
#4 Power dynamics
This next one is a vastly popular kink but also the one that many feel shy about and aren’t voicing their preferences because of fear of being ridiculed.
The core element of the power dynamics kinks is a consensual exchange of control. One partner takes over the dominant position, and the other one becomes a submissive. You’ll see traces of power dynamics kink in BDSM, role-playing, and other creative sex ideas.
This is definitely on our must-have list of kinky things to try, as it’s also relatively easy to implement, and we all have fantasies that we either already want to bring to life or can adapt if someone suggests them.
It’s hard to pinpoint what makes role-playing so hot and desirable. Still, for many people, it’s a great way to experiment with authority and obedience while being completely safe and a fun game element that helps them loosen up and build trust.
#5 Taboo exploration
Sometimes, all you want is to cross the line without actually crossing it and break boundaries in a safe environment with no negative consequences.
If that’s something you’re curious about, then you might have a taboo exploration kink.
This type of kink is all about engaging in fantasies and scenarios that are somewhat problematic and unconventional, and some of those role-play ideas of fantasies can be straight-up socially forbidden, such as humiliation, age-play, or incest scenarios.
Among the kinky things to try in bed, taboo exploration is considered very controversial. The common criticism is that if you indulge in something that’s pushing societal boundaries and is frowned upon or plain illegal in real life, then you’ll take yourself one step closer to doing it for real and causing trauma to someone.
Although there is some truth to that, in most cases, if the person is fully mentally stable and is trying it with someone they trust and respect with the explicit consent of all parties, then there is no harm produced from that.
Taboo exploration is intensely thrilling, as engaging in prohibited activities is naturally exciting. It’s a way to live through something that will never happen in real life and do it in a safe and responsible fashion.
Tip: If you engage in taboo scenarios, discuss them before the action. Pay attention to other people’s body language and stop if they get uncomfortable. Also, do an aftercare talk to ensure everyone is comfortable and is walking away fine from this experience.
How to Identify Your Kinky Desires and Explore Them Safely
We’ve just scratched the surface with kinky sex ideas that exist out there, so how do you identify the kinky things to do that will turn you on the most?
Here are the key steps to identifying your kinky desires.
- Think back about your past sexual experiences and fantasies. What have you been dreaming about? What intercourse was the most memorable and why?
- Education is key. Learn more about the types of kinks and fantasies that exist out there. Luckily, the internet has lots of information about anything, and you can read articles on Flure and other portals, go to forums, watch videos where people talk about kinks, etc. Also, if you know someone who’s sexually adventurous and likes kinks, ask them to share their experiences, tips, and thoughts with you.
- Talk to your partner. If you’re in a relationship or have someone you sleep with regularly, start the discussion about kinks. Maybe there is something they’ve been dying to try, and you can talk about giving it a go or agreeing on the hard Nos as a start.
- Get down to it. Learning by doing is an excellent mantra for kink experiments. Start by gradually introducing little kinky elements here and there to test the waters and see if you like them played out or only as a fantasy in your head.
- Understand consent. Not every consent is equally good. If you try something risky and unconventional, make sure everyone expresses explicit consent where they say out loud that they agree to something and also speak through the things they’re okay with. Moreover, note that any consent is revocable, and anyone can change their mind.
- Create boundaries. Think through what is okay and what is absolutely unacceptable. Sometimes, you need to really sit and think about it, and freestyling does not work. Identify your boundaries in advance and have them ready to be shared with someone next time you try kinks.
Next time you play with new sex ideas, come up with a safe word that will automatically terminate the act if one of you says it. It can be something silly and innocent, like “teddy bear” or “pickles” or something as straightforward as “stop.”
Even if you never use it, the mere knowledge of having it will make everyone more relaxed and comfortable with the whole process.
Why Kinky Ideas Matter in Sexual Exploration
Why explore kinks when there are so many other sex things to try?
Unlike simple changes of sex positions, locations, or toys you use during intercourse, kinks offer one-of-a-kind sensation and engagement. Anything outside “the norm” creates a stronger and more memorable feeling.
Kinks are not a must for sex by no means, but they spice it up, feed our curiosity, and add a new dimension of pleasure that is nearly impossible to get from vanilla sex.
Life is long, and having the same routine year after year can ruin the fun of it. Do you remember the first time you ever slept with someone? And the first time you had great sex? Unless you’re one of the lucky few, the chances are that your average sex experience is not as thrilling and exciting. Kinks can change it.
And finally, if you’re dating someone for an extended period, spicing things up in the bedroom (or outside of it) can reignite the wild chemistry you had when you’ve only started to go out.
Final Thoughts
Exploring kinks is an exciting way to spend your time. Not only do you learn new things about yourself, but you’re also having unique experiences that become a breath of fresh air in daily life filled with stress and responsibilities.
Whether you’re seeing someone or not, kinks can be explored and experimented with to understand yourself and have the ultimate sex pleasure. As long as you follow the simple rules of clear communication, mutual respect, and consent, kinks remain innocent and hot.
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