Bisexuality is when a person is attracted to both male and female. Is bi-curiosity the same? Not exactly!
What does bi-curious mean
So what is bi-curious, exactly? You can probably guess by the “curious” part that bi-curious is about being intrigued about the opposite sex. Let’s say, you’re a guy who’s always identified as straight, but there’s this one friend of yours that you can’t stop fantasizing about. Your heart is racing every time you’re near them, and you definitely can see yourself making out with them. Yet, you’re still into women.
If that scenario sounds familiar, then congratulations – it looks like you belong to the bi-curious tribe.
Key points on the meaning of bi-sexuality:
- It is often a temporary identity
- Can be attracted to all representatives of the same sex, or just specific people
- The attraction can stay in their heads or move into reality
- Can result in a switch of sexual orientation or end up with the person going back to “normal”
- Both straight and gay people can become bi-curious, so basically anyone
Signs you are bi-curious
If you’re asking yourself the infamous “Am I bi-curious?” question, that’s already a sign that you might be. People who are confident in their sexuality and live in harmony with who they are, don’t typically wonder about alternative sexual orientations.
However, that doesn’t mean that anyone questioning is automatically bi-curious. There are more signs to tell:
- You have fantasies about making out or hooking up with people of the same gender or non-binary individuals.
- You’re down to experimenting sexually and emotionally.
- You feel a physical attraction to genders that you weren’t previously interested in.
- You’re invested in the LGBTQ+ community, their issues, and their culture.
- Labels, such as straight or gay, make you uncomfortable.
If you agree with at least one of the signs we’ve listed above – you might be bi-curious. And if that’s true, congrats! You’ve just learned something new about yourself. The next step for you would be to experiment and find out whether your curiosity leads anywhere.
Dating a bi-curious partner
Dating a bi-curious person can be worrisome. You might be wondering if they wake up one day and decide that they’re no longer interested in you and walk away to your complete opposite.
We encourage you to avoid these thoughts and focus on the partner. While in a relationship, you can never be sure it’s going to last, but the best thing we can do is to stay loyal, supportive, and kind.
If you’re dating a bi-curious person right now, here are the tips that will help you navigate it with grace:
- Talk to them openly about your concerns. You might think it will push them away, but if you share your feelings and emotions and refrain from judgment, you’ll be amazed at how good it can be for your relationship.
- Try to educate yourself on the subject. If you don’t have friends who are bi-curious or had a similar experience, then there is probably a lot you can learn. Doing it will help you understand your partner better and also support them in a way that will strengthen your relationship.
- Stay respectful of their journey. It can be hard to do if you’re afraid to lose them but stay strong.
- Don’t suggest any labels yourself, let them figure it out and find a label that fits on their own terms.
- Agree on boundaries that will make you both comfortable.
- Respect your partners’ privacy. Don’t complain or vent about their sexual journey to others, let them be the first to break the news.
The final tip: be patient. The journey might take them a while, and it’s also possible that they’ll never know the final truth about their sexuality. If you really cherish this person and want to be with them, being patient while they deal with bi-curiosity is one of the best things you can do.
Bi-curious vs bisexual
Both bi-curious and bisexual are terms that describe aspects of sexuality and sexual orientation. Some use them interchangeably, but it’s not correct to do so.
Bi-curiosity implies some sort of interest and curiosity towards other sexes that doesn’t make anyone commit to or identify as anything until they’re ready. You’re just curious for now, and there’s no pressure to comply with anything. Bisexuality, in turn, implies that the person already understands and accepts that they’re into both sexes.
Identifying as bi-curious helps the person explore their sexuality freely, and dial back whenever they feel like it. It’s a kind of intermediary point for individuals who can’t learn about their preferences or try new things because of their upbringing or limiting beliefs. A woman who grew up among conservatives and became a wife early in life can only start to think about other females for the first time when she’s middle-aged and divorced. Her new interest doesn’t mean she’s lesbian now, but allowing herself to experiment sexually can show her she really isn’t as straight as she thought she was, or just be a phase and result in her going back to dating men only.
A bisexual person is someone who’s likely already experienced romantic feelings towards multiple genders, and they’re aware of it and fine with it. If our newly divorced conservative woman starts dating women and men, then she can be considered bisexual.
The bottom line is, that a bisexual person has already established their sexual orientation and preferences, whereas a bi-curious person is only starting to experiment and learn about the breadth of their desires and sexual attractions.
Bi-curiousity and biphobia
While many (including the Flure team) believe that exploring one’s sexuality is a great way to get to know yourself better and learn about what kind of relationships can make you happy, not everyone is so positive.
There is, sadly, such a thing as biphobia where bisexual and bi-curious people are discriminated against because of their sexual preferences. The crazy part is that biphobia comes from both ends. The straight community is doing it out of lack of understanding or because of pure homophobia. Parts of the LGBTQ+ community, in turn, can see bisexuals as straights who are having a bit of fun and wasting everyone’s time.
There is a similar dynamic towards polyamorous relationships. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, and many fail to understand it, resulting in aggression towards people who are not in your typical monogamous relationships. Biphobia manifests in all the typical phobia ways, such as invalidation, discrimination, stereotyping, microaggressions, and even violence.
It’s important to stand against biphobia, as it’s as detrimental as homophobia. It hurts the bi and bi-curious communities and makes peoples’ lives miserable.
