If you’re interested in gaining control and power over someone or something, but you’re not sure where to find it, maybe the domination kink will satisfy this craving.
What is domination?
Domination is one of the many kinks that can be enjoyed for sexual arousal without necessarily resulting in the sexual act itself.
With domination, one person is, well, dominating over the other. It’s all about power exchange and taking or giving up control.
There are different types of domination. Some are purely psychological, and others involve physical control and restraint. The dominant figure rules over the other person’s emotions, feelings, and actions.
Before you give up or grab power, you discuss the boundaries, limitations, and rules to ensure everyone involved is having a good time, even if they’re being restricted, punished, or shouted at. At Flure, we assure you that you can freely feel safe and explore your desires.
With domination, one person is, well, dominating over the other. It’s all about power exchange and taking or giving up control.
There are different types of domination. Some are purely psychological, and others involve physical control and restraint. The dominant figure rules over the other person’s emotions, feelings, and actions.
Before you give up or grab power, you discuss the boundaries, limitations, and rules to ensure everyone involved is having a good time, even if they’re being restricted, punished, or shouted at. At Flure, we assure you that you can freely feel safe and explore your desires.
Why do people enjoy domination?
Exploring domination ethically allows people to uncover endless pleasure for several reasons.
Among all the benefits of domination, the one being talked about the most is probably the fulfillment you get from controlling or surrendering control. Those in higher-up positions at work and people who navigate and manage big families often feel like the entire world’s weight is on their shoulders. For them, turning into a submissive peasant who a dominatrix bosses around is all they could wish for. It’s a quiet, peaceful time, a much-needed getaway, and stress-reducing activity.
In turn, someone who’s not really in control of many things in their lives, or maybe in control but not in a way they’d prefer, those people can appreciate being high up on the kink hierarchy and dictating to their partner(s) what they should say, do, or think.
The best part is that it’s all happening in a controlled environment with (hopefully) explicit consent from everyone, so you’re not putting yourself or anyone else at risk.
Among all the benefits of domination, the one being talked about the most is probably the fulfillment you get from controlling or surrendering control. Those in higher-up positions at work and people who navigate and manage big families often feel like the entire world’s weight is on their shoulders. For them, turning into a submissive peasant who a dominatrix bosses around is all they could wish for. It’s a quiet, peaceful time, a much-needed getaway, and stress-reducing activity.
In turn, someone who’s not really in control of many things in their lives, or maybe in control but not in a way they’d prefer, those people can appreciate being high up on the kink hierarchy and dictating to their partner(s) what they should say, do, or think.
The best part is that it’s all happening in a controlled environment with (hopefully) explicit consent from everyone, so you’re not putting yourself or anyone else at risk.
Safety and consent tips for domination play
Domination is not the most aggressive or dangerous kink there is, but it can hurt someone’s mental state. You should be careful and thoughtful when practicing, even if you appear rough and dominant.
Here are the main domination safety tips to follow for the best experience.
The final tip we’d like to share is to respect limits. If the boundary gets crossed, accidentally or with intention, or someone is overwhelmed and can’t handle the dynamic anymore, stop right this second and don’t resume until everyone is comfortable and gives you the green light.
Here are the main domination safety tips to follow for the best experience.
- Learn more about the kink. Although our beginner’s guide to domination provides a good overview, it’s best to learn more about the rules, nuances, common failures, and personal experiences with domination. Bonus points if you can talk to someone who’s done it before.
- Establish your boundaries and understand the boundaries of other people. Talk about the limits, the preferences, and the no-nos that every participant has.
- Come up with a safe word or a signal. It’s always better to be safe than sorry. If the kink becomes more intense than you can handle, it will make a world of difference if you pre-agree on a safe signal or a safe word. The mere knowledge of it being there will help everyone relax and enjoy the game more.
- Remember that consent is not irrevocable. Someone may change their mind at any point in their life. Some people will feel uncomfortable but be too shy to voice their concerns. If you notice that something is off with your kink buddies, ask them if they’re doing alright and if they might want to stop or pause.
- Start slow. When you’re only starting out with domination play or any other kink, the best strategy is to take things slow. You’re not winning anything by rushing; quite the opposite.
The final tip we’d like to share is to respect limits. If the boundary gets crossed, accidentally or with intention, or someone is overwhelmed and can’t handle the dynamic anymore, stop right this second and don’t resume until everyone is comfortable and gives you the green light.
Advanced techniques or variations
If it's not your first rodeo, or you'd like to learn more about your options with domination, here are some extra techniques and tricks you can try with your partners.
Edging. Orgasm control, aka edging, is the ultimate form of domination. Have your submissive almost get to the final scene but then suddenly cut them off and have them yearn for it again. Start with edging just once, then slowly build them up and train them to withstand double and triple edging.
- Sensory deprivation. Limiting one's senses makes everything ten times hotter. If you want to take things one step further, go with blindfolds, earplugs, or other accessories to restrict and heighten the submissive's senses and appear even more powerful and in control.
- Mind games. Messing with someone's brain is not something we'd generally recommend. However, we don't see any harm if that happens in a controlled and consensual environment!
- CNC. Consensual non-consent is another avenue you can explore. This is when you pre-agree on several scenarios where it would look like you're doing something against the person's will. In reality, though, it's all consensual and safe.
- Rituals. You can instill certain rituals that a submissive has to follow as a part of their daily routine. This can be, for example, them having to go down on their fours and bark for a minute before they're allowed to brush their teeth. They can optionally Facetime the dominatrix while doing it.
- Public domination. You've probably seen this photo from the NY metro where a woman was sitting on top of a man folded in an odd, uncomfortable position. That's one way of doing it! Something more subtle can be asking for confirmation before they can eat or drink at a restaurant.
Edging. Orgasm control, aka edging, is the ultimate form of domination. Have your submissive almost get to the final scene but then suddenly cut them off and have them yearn for it again. Start with edging just once, then slowly build them up and train them to withstand double and triple edging.
Ethical and social considerations of domination
Some say BDSM practices are unethical, but it’s not true. Unlike manipulation and gaslighting, which are far more damaging, domination is transparent and consensual at its core. The only domination that is frowned upon is the one where the boundaries are not respected, and consent is neglected.
As long as you build trust with your partner and avoid abusing them, domination is fantastic. As far as abuse goes, it can happen if one of you gets carried away and doesn’t pay enough attention to the other person. Remember that if someone isn’t happy to do something – they should never be pressured. Also, emotional well-being is equally important as physical well-being.
Lastly, domination is often misunderstood and frowned upon. Society, at large, is not supportive of things that aren’t mainstream. That’s why if you engage in this kink, discretion is advised, and privacy should be one of your top concerns. The last thing you want is to ruin your or someone else’s personal and professional life because you share too much.
As long as you build trust with your partner and avoid abusing them, domination is fantastic. As far as abuse goes, it can happen if one of you gets carried away and doesn’t pay enough attention to the other person. Remember that if someone isn’t happy to do something – they should never be pressured. Also, emotional well-being is equally important as physical well-being.
Lastly, domination is often misunderstood and frowned upon. Society, at large, is not supportive of things that aren’t mainstream. That’s why if you engage in this kink, discretion is advised, and privacy should be one of your top concerns. The last thing you want is to ruin your or someone else’s personal and professional life because you share too much.
Flure isn’t just a dating app—it’s your gateway to meaningful connections and unforgettable experiences. Whether you’re seeking new friendships, someone special, or just exploring, Flure makes it easy to find your kind of people. Built on trust, safety, and authenticity, Flure turns your online dating into something truly magical. Ready to make connections that matter? Join Flure today and see where it takes you!
FAQ
Is domination normal or degrading?
It’s a good question! The answer is – it’s definitely normal, but it is also degrading in a good way. The whole premise of the kink is power exchange.
How to explore domination ethically?
The key is to get enthusiastic consent from everyone, respect people’s boundaries, and pre-agree on anything extreme. Also, if someone is not feeling it anymore, you stop. Right there and right now.
How can I dominate over someone without experience?
Dominating over someone can be intimidating, even for the experienced dominatrixes. If you’re starting out, try domination in small doses. Be more subtle with your approach and focus on little details that you can control and dictate, rather than the person’s entire routine.
