In this beginner’s guide to gags, we are going to explore the wonderful world of kinks, particularly gags that are used in BDSM for all kinds of reasons. Curious to find out more? Great! Let’s go.
What is a gag?
A gag is a small tool or accessory that is used primarily in BDSM to prevent someone from speaking or putting anything in their mouth.
Most gags are made out of rubbers, silicones, or leather, but you might find something niche and different too. Most of them you see referenced in pop culture are of the ball shape, but you can find absolutely different ones, including ring gags.
Most gags are made out of rubbers, silicones, or leather, but you might find something niche and different too. Most of them you see referenced in pop culture are of the ball shape, but you can find absolutely different ones, including ring gags.
Why do people enjoy gags?
If your first thought is, "Why would anyone want to do this to themselves?" – we get it. But also, you might be surprised how good it feels and how many benefits of gags are there for your sex life and intimacy.
Like many kinks, gags enable you to live through a fantasy and something utterly different from the way you usually spend your time. It's erotic, and it's thrilling.
If you use gags with someone you trust and feel comfortable around, you can fully enjoy the submissive position that the gag puts you in and let go of control completely. It is a freeing feeling that can be super arousing. You'll be surprised!
If you're looking for like-minded people to try gags with, join Flure! Explore your desires and try new things in a safe, inclusive, judgment-free environment.
Like many kinks, gags enable you to live through a fantasy and something utterly different from the way you usually spend your time. It's erotic, and it's thrilling.
If you use gags with someone you trust and feel comfortable around, you can fully enjoy the submissive position that the gag puts you in and let go of control completely. It is a freeing feeling that can be super arousing. You'll be surprised!
If you're looking for like-minded people to try gags with, join Flure! Explore your desires and try new things in a safe, inclusive, judgment-free environment.
Safety and consent tips for gags
Gags are steamy and sexy, but they can be dangerous too.
First of all, as this is an instrument of submission, you must always ensure full explicit consent from the people who’ll be restricted with gags. They need to understand what it entails and verbally confirm that they’re okay with having something like that in their mouth.
Safe word alternatives
Also, there needs to be a way for them to quickly signal if something goes wrong since they won’t be able to speak up. They can feel numb, be in pain, or have a gag reflex and want to vomit, and you have to release them quickly in that case.
Here are the common alternatives to the safe word that people use.
- Hand signal. Something simple yet unmistakable, such as a thumbs down or a raised fist.
- Holding something. If the person holds a bell, a candle, a set of keys, a plant, or anything else, the show’s over (or paused).
- Triple tap. Someone can tap a surface by accident, but if they do it, say, three times in a row, then it’s hard to misinterpret it as something else.
- Special sound. This is unreliable because you might fail to produce a particular sound, especially if you’re exhausted, fainting, or fighting a vomit. Still, if you practice beforehand and you can create a unique sound, feel free to use it as your safe word alternative when playing with gags.
Getting started with gags
Okay everyone, now that we know what gags are, why they’re cool, and understand the main gag safety tips, let’s get down to business.
Here is how to explore gags and have a blast.
#1 Make the right choice
There are many gags out there, and not all of them will be to your liking. Check what options are available out there, and try a few ones to see what’s best fitting your mouth and your mood.
Pro tip: There are breathable gags that you can get to ease your way into this kink. These have holes and/or are made of a softer material, making it easier to move around and squeeze, so you get extra air and can even speak up.
#2 Come up with a safety action
Always have a safe signal that you can use if you’re not doing well and want to stop. Also, when telling your partners about it, make sure you have an understanding with them that as soon as this signal is shown, the gag is coming off. No question or hesitation.
#3 Practice makes perfect
There’s no way around it, you’ll need to try gags a few times before you can master this kinky instrument. Start with wearing it for a minute or so, then gradually wear it for longer.
Remember that if you feel pain or struggle to breathe, you need to find another gag. Normally you should be able to operate as usual minus the ability to speak. You shouldn’t be drooling uncontrollably either, so if that happens see if playing with straps will help. Sometimes gags are too tightly fit and you need to loosen them up a little.
#4 Keep up the surveillance
If you’re on your own with gags – don’t ignore how you feel and the signals your body sends. If you’re having kinky fun with others, check on them regularly to see that they’re fine. You don’t want to neglect your partners at a time like this. Pay attention to their eyes and body language. Any sign of them being somewhat off, stop the game and make sure they’re okay to continue.
#5 Once it’s over, it’s time to talk
Gags are hot and sexy, but they’re also demanding and mentally taxing. If someone isn’t used to any kind of restraint or they weren’t in submissive positions a lot, they might get overwhelmed, even if they think they enjoyed it.
Have a talk once the gag is removed, the water has been drunk, and everyone’s heart rates are back to normal.
Talk about comfort levels, what was nice, and what could be changed in the future. This doesn’t have to be a lengthy and super-deep conversation, but it needs to happen.
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FAQ
Is gag a normal thing to offer on a first date?
It most definitely would be a great icebreaker! However, we’d not recommend leading with this question, unless you’ve met them on a themed forum or chatted before and found out you’re both into kinks.
Are gags safe to use?
Overall, gags are completely safe. Yet, like many sex and kink tools, they need to be used properly. Make sure it fits and you can breathe, and if someone else is wearing it, watch them to make sure they’re not struggling with it.
Are gags painful?
If you’re wearing a gag and it’s causing pain, you’re not wearing it properly. Any strong sense of discomfort is a bad sign. Numbness, jaw strain, difficulty breathing, or anything of that sort is your cue to take it off.
How long can I wear a gag for?
If you’re a complete beginner, try it on first and keep it for maybe 20-30 seconds. Next time wear it for a minute, and only then increase the duration. On average, people wear them for 15-30 minutes after they get more comfortable with it. If you want, you can wear it for longer but be wary of physical discomfort and don’t let it creep on you.
What are the basics of exploring gags ethically?
The key to ethical gag use is simple. Have everyone’s consent and prioritize their well-being. No fantasy or orgasm is worth having someone be in physical or mental pain. Check-in on everyone wearing gags every once in a while, and ask them about their experience once it’s off too.
