Being aromantic is all about embracing connections without the romantic spark. Human feelings, emotions, and attraction are complex. Despite what pop culture used to make us believe up until recently, not everyone is skinny and straight, and not everyone shows the same feelings in certain situations. One of the orientations that often gets dismissed is aromantic. Find out more about them with Flure!
What is aromantic?
Aromantic (or aro) people are unable to form romantic attraction towards someone. They have feelings in general and are able to form loving relationships, though. Interestingly, someone who is aromantic can feel sexual and platonic attraction, but not romantic one.
It’s important to remember that aromanticism is a spectrum, and while some of its representatives have never ever felt romantic towards anyone, others may have experienced these feelings at some point in their lives, but it’s no longer the case for them.
The Aromantic spectrum
The aromantic spectrum is diverse, encompassing a wide range of experiences with romantic attraction. Not everyone identifies as fully aromantic, and many fall somewhere along this nuanced continuum. Here's an overview:
- Aromantic (Aro): Experiences little to no romantic attraction to others.
- Grayromantic: Occasionally or rarely experiences romantic attraction, often in specific contexts.
- Demiromantic: Feels romantic attraction only after forming a strong emotional bond.
- Quoiromantic: Struggles to distinguish between romantic and platonic attraction or finds the distinction irrelevant.
- Frayromantic: Experiences romantic attraction that fades once emotional closeness develops.
- Recipromantic: Experiences romantic attraction only when they know the other person is romantically attracted to them.
- Aroflux: Shifts between different points on the aromantic spectrum over time.
5 Signs you are aromantic
Not everyone experiences romantic attraction in the same way, and if you're questioning whether you might be aromantic, these signs could help you find clarity:
- You’ve never felt romantic attraction
- You don’t relate to romantic media
- You prefer platonic or familial bonds
- You feel confused by romantic gestures
- You don’t picture a romantic future
These signs don’t define everyone on the aromantic spectrum, but they can serve as helpful indicators for self-reflection.
Aromantic vs asexual
Aromanticism is not the same as asexuality. Asexual people don’t feel sexual attraction but can want a romantic relationship, whereas aromantic people do not have romantic feelings, but can still desire someone sexually. People of all orientations and genders can be aromantic or asexual.
It's also possible for someone to identify as both aromantic and asexual, meaning they don’t experience romantic or sexual attraction. However, many aromantic people enjoy deep emotional bonds, close friendships, or even non-traditional partnerships. Similarly, asexual people might build fulfilling romantic connections without sexual intimacy. Understanding the difference between these identities helps validate the unique ways people experience love, intimacy, and connection.
Allosexual vs alloromantic vs aromantic
Allosexual refers to people who experience sexual attraction, in contrast to asexual individuals who do not. Allosexuality encompasses a wide range of sexual orientations, such as heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, and more. It’s important to note that being allosexual doesn’t automatically mean someone experiences romantic attraction, as sexual and romantic feelings don’t always align.
Alloromantic describes individuals who feel romantic attraction, distinguishing them from aromantic people who don’t experience such feelings. Alloromantic individuals may seek traditional romantic relationships, like dating or marriage, and often resonate with romantic media and societal norms around love. This term helps highlight that romantic attraction, like sexual attraction, is not universal.
On the other hand, aromantic individuals don’t experience romantic attraction but may still experience sexual attraction if they are allosexual. For example, an allosexual aromantic person might desire sexual relationships without any interest in romance. These distinctions between allosexual, alloromantic, and aromantic illustrate the complexity of attraction and affirm the many ways people form meaningful connections.
Alloromantic describes individuals who feel romantic attraction, distinguishing them from aromantic people who don’t experience such feelings. Alloromantic individuals may seek traditional romantic relationships, like dating or marriage, and often resonate with romantic media and societal norms around love. This term helps highlight that romantic attraction, like sexual attraction, is not universal.
On the other hand, aromantic individuals don’t experience romantic attraction but may still experience sexual attraction if they are allosexual. For example, an allosexual aromantic person might desire sexual relationships without any interest in romance. These distinctions between allosexual, alloromantic, and aromantic illustrate the complexity of attraction and affirm the many ways people form meaningful connections.
How can you tell if you're aromantic?
If you’ve looked up the meeting of the term aromantic, and wonder if that’s you, here are some questions you can ask yourself to start the self-discovery journey.
- Do I feel romantic attraction to someone? Have I ever felt it before?
- What do I feel when I think about other couples?
- How do I feel about finding a romantic partner myself?
- What are my relationship preferences?
- What relationships are a priority for me?
- Do I like or long for romantic gestures?
- Does seeing romantic stories on TV or the internet interest me?
Figuring out what you want, who you like, and who you are is not easy. It takes a great deal of effort, strength, curiosity, and perseverance. Although the world is changing, and we are much more used to and understanding different genders and orientations, the US still remains a rather conservative country.
That’s why you don’t see much conversation about aromanticism, and it can feel alienating and confusing. Make sure to give yourself time and not rush things or blame yourself for not knowing what you want. Seek out support, whether from your close circle or local LGBTQ+ communities, and you’ll get there, we promise!
How to support aromantic people
Supporting aromantic people means understanding and respecting their unique experiences and needs. By fostering inclusivity and open communication, you can help create a safe space for them to be themselves. Here are some ways to show your support:
- Respect their identity
- Don’t pressure them into romance
- Value platonic relationships
- Use inclusive language
- Be a good listener
- Educate yourself
- Celebrate their choices
By offering empathy and understanding, you can help aromantic people feel seen, respected, and valued.
What is aromantic dating?
Aromantic dating is all about connection without the romantic expectations. For people on the aromantic spectrum, dating might not look like a scene from a romantic comedy—but it can still be just as meaningful. It’s less about flowers and candlelit dinners and more about finding joy in shared interests, deep conversations, or simply spending time together in a way that feels right for both people.
An aromantic date could be as simple as grabbing coffee, exploring a museum, or playing a favorite game. There’s no pressure for grand romantic gestures—it’s about enjoying each other’s company and creating a bond that feels authentic. Some might still enjoy physical affection, like hugging or cuddling, while others prefer to keep things purely platonic. The key is mutual understanding and comfort.
For many aromantic people, dating might mean building connections that go beyond the traditional idea of romance, like queer-platonic partnerships or relationships based on shared life goals. These connections aren’t about following a script—they’re about rewriting the rules to prioritize respect, communication, and the unique ways people can bring joy to each other’s lives.
An aromantic date could be as simple as grabbing coffee, exploring a museum, or playing a favorite game. There’s no pressure for grand romantic gestures—it’s about enjoying each other’s company and creating a bond that feels authentic. Some might still enjoy physical affection, like hugging or cuddling, while others prefer to keep things purely platonic. The key is mutual understanding and comfort.
For many aromantic people, dating might mean building connections that go beyond the traditional idea of romance, like queer-platonic partnerships or relationships based on shared life goals. These connections aren’t about following a script—they’re about rewriting the rules to prioritize respect, communication, and the unique ways people can bring joy to each other’s lives.
Conclusion
Aromanticism challenges traditional ideas of love and relationships, showing that human connection is far more diverse and nuanced than society often portrays. Whether through deep friendships, queerplatonic bonds, or unique dating styles, aromantic people prove that romance is just one of many ways to find fulfillment and joy. By embracing and supporting these identities, we create a more inclusive world where everyone’s experiences and connections are valued.
FAQ
Can aromantic people fall in love?
Yes, but not romantically. Aromantic people can feel deep love for friends, family, or partners without experiencing romantic attraction.
Can aromantics still have crushes?
Some aromantic people may experience platonic or aesthetic crushes, but they typically don’t feel romantic attraction.
How rare is aromanticism?
Aromanticism is relatively uncommon, but exact numbers vary. It’s often underreported due to lack of awareness or societal expectations.
What qualifies as aromantic?
Aromantic people experience little to no romantic attraction, though their relationships and preferences can vary widely within the aromantic spectrum.
Is aromantic in LGBT?
Yes, aromanticism is part of the broader LGBTQIA+ community, which includes diverse sexual and romantic orientations.
